[i]I looked out to the house across from me. Everything from inside had been moved out. I could only see one person inside, doing something in the kitchen. Probably cleaning it for the next family to move in. I sighed and thought to myself, "They're actually gone..."[/i]
The family who used to live in that house have been our neighbours for 11 of the 13 years I've been here. Their youngest son, Brian, would always be outside playing hockey on the path that ran in between our houses. Everyone knew he was good; he had been playing ever since he was old enough to put a pair of rollerblades on. I believe he's 10 or 11 years old now. I've watched him grow up.
I wonder what our new neighbours will be like. I don't know if I'll even be able to adjust to having new neighbours across from us. They've always been there, as far back as I can remember.
Unfortunately, they aren't the only long-time neighbours who are moving, or have moved. Everyone else seems to be having adventures in new areas. It makes me wonder, sometimes, why am I still here? If everyone else is moving, why don't we? It's been 13 years, I think we've had a good run in this house. Isn't it time for a change?
Isn't that something you have to learn as a child? How to handle a big move? So that when you finally move out on your own it's something you've already done before; making it a little easier to make the adjustment. The biggest move I made was from my first house to this one, when I was too young to even remember it. I don't know if I'll be able to handle moving out; and let's face it, it's coming up fast. I'm 16 now, nearing the end of my second last year of high school. After graduation, that's the next big milestone.
My parents have talked about moving before. Just not any time soon, that is. We apparently don't have enough money to buy our own house, that's why we rent. It makes sense, I suppose. They just figure, why bother moving now, if in a couple years both my sister and I will be out anyways? They'll need a bigger house if we're there, but if it's just going to be the two of them soon, why don't they just wait for that instead? Again, I understand this - but it doesn't mean I like it.
Yes, I want to move.
Far away.
...But that's not the point.
The point is, the only reason I liked living in this neighbourhood was because of the people. So, I thought, if my family ever did move from here, we'd move somewhere close. Down the street, or a couple blocks away; that sort of thing. Now, 75% of the people I loved this neighbourhood for have moved, and the other 25% of the people I loved in this area have changed to the point where I can't stand them. Everyone else I've always disliked. What I'm getting at is... There's no one left. I would be [i]completely[/i] miserable here if it weren't for the field next to my house.
I remember being a little kid, seeing a moving truck outside every now and again; it would be a social gathering. All the kids around my age would go outside and watch the movers take all the stuff out of the truck and bring it into the house, or the other way around. If someone was moving in, we would wait until they came, then see if they had kids around our age that we could become friends with.
These days, if I see a moving truck, I know instantly that someone else is moving out, and not in. My dad is good friends with the super in this area, and he's always complaining about all the empty houses. I haven't seen a new face in months, but I've seen a lot of moving trucks.
Hm... I told you if anything came up I'd write about it. XP
I didn't go to school today. I woke up, and thought to myself "Today is Friday, and it's a day 1. I don't like day 1's... I'm tired.". I told my mom I had this stomach flu thing, and she let me stay home. Yay.
Before I went back to bed, my mom told me something I [i]never[/i] wanted to hear... My grandmother, my mom's mom, has been having mini-strokes. She can tell that they're strokes, because she used to be a nurse. She went to go see the doctor today about it, because it could become something bigger... She wanted to do something before it got worse. I'm so scared... Lately I've been thinking about how much time Grammy has left. She either just turned 80, or will be turning 80 this year. She has been fine up until now, but I know she's getting old... I'm just so scared of losing her!
I slept in until about noon-ish. Woke up, and played Harvest Moon for a good couple hours. I managed to make enough money to buy a really expensive bull, and a second sheep. Go me! Now I have 3 cows (Dinner, Tipsy and Curds), 1 bull (Mustard), 2 sheep (Popcorn and Sweater), 1 horse (Glue), 4 chickens (Edweena, Ginger, Babs and Mack), 1 rooster (Rocky), and 2 ducks (North and South). Also, I have a wife and son (Ceilia and Pepper). Go me! ...None of that matters to anyone else but me, or people who play the game.
2:40 is when I usually get home from school, so I went to my computer and went on MSN. Blarg, no one was online. I looked at the clock / date... April 30th. I nearly shit myself. Today's Steven's birthday, and I faked sick. The first thought in my head was "Everyone's going to think I stayed home to avoid Steven today!" Which is totally [i]not[/i] true! Although, I am glad I missed it - I'm just saying I didn't do it on purpose. Gaah!
Jade came online and she told me some interesting things. First, she explained why she's so happy today. *yay!*. Then she told me that no one even remembered Steven's birthday until after the announcements had read it out to the entire school. LOL! Aw man, that made my day!
Then Jade told me something I didn't expect at all... Apparently, Mandy and Chris are back together. Which was really freaky to hear, because when I was sleeping in this morning I had a dream they got back together. But that's not the point - the point is: WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE [i]THINKING[/i]??? Dude, if she cheated on you before, she's gonna do it again. And isn't this their [i]third time[/i] going out? All she does is treat him like shit; the other day she wouldn't stop [i]screaming[/i] at him just because he woudln't pick up her fucking purse, which she THREW AT HIM!!!
The group has been having a bit of a problem lately. With mainly Mandy, but now I'm noticing with Steven, too. But, I'm sure everyone who knows these two have already heard about these issues before. And, since there are so many of them, I won't even [i]begin[/i] to list them all! *shakes head*
Hm... I didn't want this to be [i]another [/i]short blog, but nothing really happened today. I have nothing to talk about. If anything else does come up, I'll write again (but you already knew that, didn't you? XP)
This is going to be a really short blog (for me), because I'm tired and I don't feel like writing much.
[b]Parenting:[/b] I actually don't recall... [b]Math:[/b] I had a test, it was [i]VERY[/i] easy. Well, to me anyways... It was about making car payments and what-not. [b]English:[/b] Watched more of the Macbeth movie. Some freaky shit happens in it, yup yup. (Not a bad freaky) [b]Lunch:[/b] Again, I don't recall! What's with me and my horrible memory today? [b]Bio/Spare:[/b] I lay on the ground in the hallway and talked with Andrew about whatever random things he could think of. We actually debated a lot. [b]Careers: [/b]Holy shit, does anyone have a memory for sale??? Because I obviously don't have one of my own! [b]Drama:[/b] Watched more cold read-throughs. Kinda boring. Although, I'm looking forward to seeing Andrea's finished product... *evil laughter*
After school I read more of Time Enough for Love as I waited for Grant. It's getting interesting, and I've only just begun it. We went over to his house, watched Big Fish (really good movie!), and played Soul Calibur II (I owned him! ...Not really, but I did win. He's good competition).
And, um, ya, that's all I'm gonna say now. (Told you I didn't feel like writing!)
If it weren't for me being so happy, today probably would have been hell. Nothing could tear me down, I wouldn't let it. I was in too much of a good mood to let anything get to me!
Now, what put me in this amazing mood, you may ask? Grant asked me out last night. I don't feel like going into details, so I won't. Ask me if you care, but I'm not going to write about it. Well, I will tell you one thing - I wasn't nervous with him. Just... happy. ^^
About today, then? Okay...
Ancient Civs was friggin' hilarious today! Okay, Mr.VanDusen gave us these books he randomly found in the "book room" ("By 'book room', does he mean library?" lol!). They were small paperbacks from the 70's that were never even read before about medieval agriculture. He assigned us to read 7 pages, then 13 questions in the book, and I was just like "oh boy... *glares*". He told us to be careful with them because he didnt want us to break their spines since they were so old. I open it up and instantly: *snap*. Brianne, who was sitting beside me, did the same thing. Same with Adam and Chris, who were sitting in front of us. Next thing we knew everyone's spines were breaking, and pages were falling out of these fart-tastic books! Adam eventually ended up with just the book cover, and the pages were no longer in the damn book! They just fell out all over the place! Ghetto books, man! He had to tape them all back in, but he failed miserably. [i]Then[/i] he borrowed Chris's book, and eventually all the pages started falling out of that one, too! Same thing happened with Bri! After everyone's pages started falling out, I closed my book to protect it from losing any pages itself! By the end of the period, Bri and I had taped a sign to the back of Adam's hoodie that said "I BREAK THINGS!", and we had got absolutly [i]no[/i] work done. All the while, pretty much the same thing was happening to everyone else and their retarded books. Shit man, I laughed so hard!
Parenting was a bit of a downer, because Mal and Jade were upset. I felt kind of bad for being so happy, but I couldn't help it. I managed to cheer them up before the end of the period, so that was good. They drew me a really funny happy-face picture with pastels that Josh brought. Hahaha - Josh, what a character! Let's get this out now, he's gay. And he apparently got laid last night, so he was absolutly beaming. He started talking about how he's getting more "flexable" and how his anus doesn't hurt and we were all like "TOO MUCH INFO THERE, BUD!". Earlier in the day he was handing out those Hawaiian necklace things ("lay"s? Is that how you spell it?) Anyways, Mal and I didn't get one so we were just like "Aw - we don't feel loved!" so he took a piece of tape and wrote "Layed by Josh" and taped it to our arms! XD ("layed", not "laid") lol!
We were supposed to have a Math test today, but instead there was an assembly so we could watch the Co-Prez election speaches. For the past week there have been signs everywhere "VOTE FOR GREENWOOD!" "IN SAAD WE TRUST!", and signs on people's backs saying "VOTE MARK HORSEMAN!" - just today Mal was walking around with a "VOTE FOR EMILY" sign ^^'! Mark went up first, and his speach was pretty good. Emily was second, and she sounded kind of show-off-ish, but I know she'd work hard. Then Saad's speach... Omg... The school is fucking retarded. Everyone was cheering and screaming for this idiot - and when he went up on stage he started dancing (poorly, I might add) to that "She Bangs" song. I hope he doesn't get voted for Co-Prez for our last year of high school... It'll be hell! Finally, it was David (Greenwood)'s speach. His speach was pretty bad. No one was listening anymore, because of all the "hype" just before. We vote tomorrow - I'm probably gonna vote for Mark and Emily, because I know they'd work as a good team together, and they'd actually do good things for our school.
Erica and I had our Photography detentions during lunch today, which totally sucked ass. I sat down in front of her, and we wrote notes back and forth. At first we were talking about how much we would have rather been in the basement, and how Ms.Coleman has something up her ass... But then it progressed.
I told her how I was feeling a little guilty for all the guys I turned down after Steven and I broke up. I think a total of 5 people either asked me out, or wanted to... Ya, 5 - Andrew, Geoff, Colin, Dan, and Jeff. I turned them all down / broke up with them after four days *cough*Andrew*cough* because I just wasn't interested in them as more than friends (actually, they're more like brothers to me!). I told them that, but I also told them that I wasn't planning on dating until after I was out of college. And I was telling the truth - I didn't want to date anyone... [i]at the time[/i]. But, things happen, and it's just kind of weird that about a month later I'm seeing someone. I didn't plan this, so I just hope that they aren't mad at me!
Afterwards, I bugged her about [i]actually[/i] liking a guy (she's a bi, leaning more towards girls, so we all just label her as a lesbian), then detention was over and we hung out in the basement for about 5 minutes before lunch ended.
Ironically, we had Photography first thing after lunch. [i]Wonderful[/i]. Erica, Ryan and I all just sat in the Photography room, talking, because Ms.Coleman didn't trust us to leave the room (Ryan just hung out for the hell of it, and Greg ran away from us). We just talked about shitness, and we eventually came up with a name for the stuffed dog that Erica carries around with her. It's her laser-surgery dog, that Steven and Mandy got her after her very recent laser-surgery. We threw a whole bunch of names at her, and she finally decided upon "Buttercup Spleen Rose-Petal" (we all came up with one name each, giving it a full name XD). Yes, it's male, and he is homosexual. So I stole him for a minute and made him dance to the YMCA and Macho Man. lol!
Period 8 "spare" - good times. I managed to get both Mal and Geoff to skip Chem, and we just hung out in the basement. Mandy and Chris joined later, and finally Jade. I don't really recall what happened, or what we talked about, but I know it was fun. *shrugs*
Last period of the day, Careers - I [i]completely[/i] forgot we had a test today! No biggie, it's Careers, common knowledge. Like, "What is the definition of Time Management Skills?" ^^'.
I just had a random memory. For some reason I just got a craving for the soup they served at Medieval Times in Toronto. I was there on the grade 9 band trip for 4 days (Toronto, that is). The craving for the soup is a common thing, because it was the best I've ever had - but this time it got me remembering back to the trip itself. I had so much fun! I was able to let go of all my problems that I had in Ottawa and just relax. It was what I needed. Better yet is that I made friends on that trip that I still have two years later. I met Tom in Toronto, and I became closer friends with Sophie.
Thinking about going out and doing things and meeting people, such as going to Toronto and meeting Tom, reminded me of the LAN party. I mean, I had a horrible time once Becky left, but I'm so glad I went. I almost didn't, too - which is the scary thought. I[i] knew[/i] I'd be the only girl sleeping over out of god knows how many guys, and I figured [i]someone[/i] might try to pull something - but Becky told me she was going to go, so I agreed to go as well.
I'm amazed at how that turned out, actually. Dan and I are good friends, at least I like to think so (things have been a little bumpy for us lately - but that's kind of expected). He meets Becky through me, and I meet Grant through him. Don't you just love it when things work out like that?
Sorry for the little out-burst - but I have to talk about other things than just my day. Besides - my blog, my talk! I can say anything I want. I am in control. Hm...
O...m...g... I have not been in a very good mood for most of the day. I definetly woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Oh, speaking of waking up - I slept in until 7:45... My school starts at 8. And, all the while, my sister was bitching at me and swearing at me, then she had the nerve to tell [i]me[/i] to shut up??? Ho-ly fuck.
I cheered up slightly in Ancient Civs when Brianne and I presented our "ancient artifact" (a shall that the slaves would wear). Very simple, very basic, but at least we didn't go on and on forever about a fucking sword. [i]Anyways[/i]!
There was a test on Macbeth in English class today, like I mentioned in yesterday's blog. It was incredibly easy, for me at least. Because, unlike most people in my class, I actually know what's going on in it. On the last page of the test we had to write a paragraph comparing one of the characters in the play to a character or person in modern time. Since Lady Macbeth is my favourite, I chose her. I thought for a while who I could compare her to, but noone was coming to mind. Yesterday Grant and I were talking about comics, and I mentioned my old obsession with Archie Comics (I think I have somewhere around 200 of them...). Then it hit me... Veronica! So yes, I compared Lady Macbeth to Veronica Lodge. XD
Parenting was shitty. Mal didn't show up, and she was probably the one person I wanted to talk to at that table. I wrote Jade a note, asking her how she's been lately (I could tell she wasn't doing too well); and she just started talking about the future. Y'know, kind of what I was bitching about in my last entry. That's what actually got me thinking about it - a conversation I had with her yesterday. We just talked a bit more about what we want to do, and what's bothering us about it. I'm going to miss her so much when I leave...
Sometimes I have to learn to not celebrate so soon. Today's lunch period was boring as fuck. Everyone was gone, rehearsing for One-Act's or out smoking. It was only Erica, Knockimov, StickKid and I in the basement today. We decided to play Asshole, out of pure boredom. I was the Asshole both times. Fuck that shit. I didn't really want to play, so I wasn't in much of a caring mood - I just needed something to do while I was bored out of my friggin' skull.
Drama was right after, and at first I was in a really bad mood. Lately Geoff has been pulling at the carpet, and each time he does I just feel like smacking him [i]incredibly[/i] hard; no joke! It [i]really[/i] pisses me off, and I keep telling him to stop it - but he doesn't listen! He did it all yesterday class, too! Urgh!!! I actually screamed at him for it today, and told about the incredibly pissy mood I was in, so he stopped. URGH - THANK YOU! WAS THAT [i]SO [/i]HARD???
Anyways - we got our photocopied scripts today and Geoff, Carl and I read through it once. Then Mr.Mo made us all do the cold read-throughs in front of the class again. We were second up. I actually felt pretty happy about our read-through. Mr.Mo was making comments after the preformances, and for us he said that Geoff and Carl needed to slow down and pronounciate, and that he believes that I was cast very well for the part! I was so thrilled! After class Jen came up to me and just said "Holy crap, Sarah - you did [i]really[/i] good!" *beams*
Photography... Blarg. I checked in with Ms.Coleman to tell her I was there, then left because it was another stuido period. I went into the basement and hung out with Mal, Chris, Erica and Andrew (gr.9 Andrew, not "props" Andrew, or Andrew F or Andrew C - TOO MANY DAMN ANDREWS!!!) - speaking of which, Andrew F was there, too! Gr.9 Andrew was complaining about his dad, and how the new headphones he bought broke on the first day, and how he hates his step-mom and all this shit, and on top of everything else, the stress of school. I felt bad for him, because he has a lot to deal with, and most of the stuff I can relate to - so I know how he feels. It's not fun.
I was just hanging out pretty much, and Mal helped me fill in my application form for Farm Boy. Then I helped Erica by explaining what new Photography assignment we were supposed to be doing, since she's been away for the past little while. Just then, Ms.Coleman comes down the stairs and announces that we're "skipping". Holy hell, bitch! I was telling her what to do! We were talking about Photography!!! Just because we weren't doing it in the friggin classroom! Ya, she gave us both detention tomorrow at lunch, and dragged us both back to class.
Bio / self-proclaimed spare was last, so I couldn't go home (parent's don't like it when I skip Bio). I just lay in the basement and stared up at the ceiling for an hour. I just listened to Chris, Mandy, Steven and Jade talk to one another. Well, Chris didn't talk - but if he even opened up his mouth Mandy would scream hysterically at him. Just because he's been acting like an "asshole" towards her. I'm sorry, but if he's sick and tired of buying you smokes, [i]I don't blame him[/i]! ...Enough about that.
When I started walking home, I noticed a huge headache coming on. It has seased a little, but it still hurts. But, because my mom hid the fucking pain killers from me, I can't do anything about it! URGH!!!
Hopefully, when I go over to Grant's in a little while, I'll be happier. No, scratch that, I [i]know[/i] I'll be happier.
It's happening again... I've been thinking too much, and now I'm upset. It hit me the other day that we only have two months left in school, and then I'm in grade 12. It'll be our last year of high school, then everyone goes in different directions. Will I ever see my friends again? Will we be able to keep in contact?
Most of you know that I plan on moving after college. And I'm not talking down the street - but to either BC or PEI. I haven't decided yet. Either way, it'll be far. I won't be able to see my friends; sure, I'll have MSN, but I know we'll grow distant from one another. I don't want that to ever happen, because I love my friends, and I won't be able to function without them. They're the reasons I'm still alive. I'm nothing without them.
Then again, Ottawa is starting to get to me. I'm sure, if you read my blog often enough, you'll know how much I feel I need to get away from here. I've almost run away a couple times, even. I was really happy when I was in the Rockies, and when I was on the beach of PEI - I've always dreamed of living in either. But without my friends? I don't know if I can do it.
Now, if I were to move, where would I go? BC or PEI? I don't know. In a past blog (way back when) I took note of all the positive and negative things about living in both and compared them - I broke even. I just can't choose. Do I even have to? I mean, if I'm going to miss everyone here so much, is it really worth it just to get away? Don't get me wrong, I still love Ottawa; I'm glad I was born and raised here, but I need a change. I [i]know[/i] that I'll eventually come back to raise [i]my[/i] family here; but until then I need to get away. But where do I go?
What if I lived in both? No, too expensive. I wouldn't have that kind of money, especially after getting out of college with little to no work experience. Travelling and living abroad is something retired people do - but I can't wait that long!
Then there's the matter of my family. My parents keep talking about moving to BC, and so does my sister. My dad's side of the family all live in Victoria. Although, to be quite honest, I don't care much for any of them. Only my grandpa and step-grandma; but by the time I move out there, [i]if[/i] I move out there, they'll probably no longer be with us. And if I choose to live in PEI, and my parents and sister go to BC, I'll be even [i]further[/i] from them!
I mentioned that I almost ran away before, right? Right. I decided I was going to PEI. The [i]only[/i] deciding factor was money. A bus ticket to PEI was much cheaper than a ticket to BC, because it's closer. But, when I move, I don't want the deciding factor to be money - I want it to be based on which province I love more. But, that's just the thing - [i]I don't know[/i].
Am I starting to repeat myself? Probably. And to think, this all started because I was going to miss my friends after graduation...
I think I was about 11 when I was in PEI. It was the first and last time I've been there. I instantly fell in love with the beaches, and I just [i]had [/i]to stay. It's quiet, and not very populated, which I like. I have a feeling that it would eventually get to me, because I was raised in a big city, but I already mentioned that I'm not planning on living there forever.
I've been to BC three times before, though. Only because my dad's family lives there. The first two times, I was pretty young (2, and 9). But I was just there this past summer, and I had a blast while in Whistler. I hated Victoria (I already mentioned I don't care for my dad's family); but the mountains keep me wanting to go back. They were absolutly beautiful... So peaceful...
AAAHHHHHHHH!!!! Why can't I make up my fucking mind??? I have only two years left in Ottawa, and I don't even know where I'm [i]going[/i] after that. You'd think that I'd have some idea of which one I loved more by now, but I really don't!
Quite a bit happened last night, actually. Everyone who went to Oshawa came home, so I got to talk to them for the first time in 5 days. I really missed them; but they all had a lot of fun, so it was okay. I got to hear many stories, all [i]very[/i] entertaining! Yay!
Also, Grant accidentally let something slip while we were talking... But I won't go into details now, I'll talk about it in tomorrow's blog. XD
Now, as for today... The morning classes were very boring. In AC, there was a presentation that went on forever - and it was only about one dude's sword. Honestly, there can't be [i]that[/i] much to talk about! Arg. I just slept in Math, while some of the guys played cards. Mr.Marchilldon just [i]doesn't care[/i]. We have a test coming up on Wednesday, which I'm pretty confident I'm going to ace. And we just did review in English about the first two acts in Macbeth (kickass play!) - since we have a test on them tomorrow. I'm very confident that I'll do amazingly on this test, aswell.
Lunch was fun again today! For the past month it's been kind of dull and uneventful - but today was like old times. Back when everyone was incredibly happy and hyper and just goofing around. I guess everyone's just much, [i]much[/i] happier these days. There was a patch in there where at least one person was upset or crying about one thing or another. Hopefully that's done with. I don't like it when my friends are sad.
Mal was trying to finish off her roll of film from the Oshawa trip, so there were a lot of people trying to run away from her. She just aimed the camera at me, and for the first time ever I didn't try to cover my face! Instead, I just dragged Greg into it with me. I hope it turned out okay... XP
For some unknown reason I decided I wanted to dig through Geoff's bag for his condoms so I could throw them at him. He's in Insight Theatre, and he gets them for free, so he has about 30 of them in his bag just because he can. So I collected them up into one big pile in my hands, then threw them all at Geoff. He was just like "What the hell???" And had to clean 'em up. lol! Then I opened one and threw it at him. Everyone tossed it at each other for a bit, then it ended up in the middle of the hallway. We just watched people walk by it and were kind of chanting "Common... Step on it! Slip, damn you, [i]SLIP[/i]!!!" Death by condom - what a way to go! LMAO!
Andrew decided to be weird and covered my eyes and was like "Guess who?", only he was pretending to be a giraffe, so he was giving me clues and I had to guess who he was by using the clues he gave me. It was interesting. Then, apparently, someone came up behind him and covered his eyes, making a chain of blind people. Hahaha!
And that was pretty much my lunch hour. See, now I have stories to tell again! I like this! Lunch was too boring before.
Going back to class wasn't cool, because I knew they'd be dull, just like in the morning. In Careers, we started the "be real game" where you have to take the role of an adult working with weird, different situations and what-not, to show how you'd "survive". Blarg. All the little grade 10's were like "Yay! This'll be fun!" and I just looked at them like they were from Mars - I did it last year, it's not [i]that[/i] fun! It's a [i]project[/i] - you still have to do work! Oh, are they going to be crushed when they find out that there's work to do behind all the glamor... Stupid grade 10's! ...[i]Anyways[/i], my "identity" is a 23 year-old man who's a trucker. OH BOY!!! I think that's what Mal got last year, actually.
I'm starting to really dislike going to Drama. I'm just not looking forward to going to it as much as I used to. Oh well, as is life. We were doing a "cold read-through" of our scene's in front of the class. Mr.Mo didn't get to our group, but whatever.
Photography was last, and it was a studio period. I've been really tired lately, so I just kind of thought "fuck that!" and I called my dad, told him I had a spare *cough* and that I was coming home. Just before I left, I saw Crystal with her little pet mouse (dude - I want one!). I played with it for a little while, then headed out. And here I am. I think I may take a nap soon. *shrugs*
I realised something a little while ago. There are only [i]three[/i] classes that I have never skipped. Those would be Ancient Civs, English and Drama. Everything else I've skipped at [i]least[/i] once. Ancient Civs I never skip, because it's my homeroom class, and I hate signing in late. Math, I usually skip once a week. I don't skip English, even though I usually hate it; my teacher absolutly loves me, and I don't want to dissapoint her. Parenting I've skipped twice - only because I was emotionally unstable and crying my friggin eyeballs out. Careers I skipped once because I was too tired, and didn't want to get up. Drama, I never skipped partly because I love it, and partly because I hang out in the basement when I skip, and the Drama room is [i]in[/i] the basement. Photography I've skipped only a couple times, two or three maybe; stuido periods are classes where she lets us leave the class to go take pictures or work in the dark room - so I just use them for my own advantage and do pretty much dick-all. And finally, Biology - well, I haven't been to a Bio class in about a month! ...And that's my skipping history.
This morning I woke up, took a shower, then headed out the door. I had to show Brian, the volunteer, what to do, since he was taking over my old job, and my Aunt Jane wasn't there. So I was just explaining some things to him, and then he points to someone and asked me if I knew them, because they kept wandering in and out of the art section for the past half hour. I looked up, and it's Grant. I laughed so hard, because the way Brian was talking made him sound like a stalker! I suppose it didn't help that he was wearing a trench... XD
After checking with Brian to make sure he knew what he was doing, I left to wander around aimlessly with Grant. We didn't do anything specific, but I did tease him a lot about being a "stalker". We came to the conclusion that he is, infact, stalking me, but that I'm also an attention whore, so I don't mind. lol! I felt so bad for "making" him come; I knew that orchids weren't exactly entertaining. He just pointed out to me that he came by choice, so I didn't feel [i]so[/i] guilty. I was actually glad he came, though - it was probably the only entertainment I got all day. He had to go home so he could get ready for work, so I walked him to his car (which we couldn't [i]find[/i] for about 10 minutes - LOL!), then returned to the Orchid Show.
I let Brian go home early, and I took over his shift. I didn't have anything else to do at the time. I almost fell asleep, I was so bored. I was completely alone, so I didn't even have anyone to talk to. And no one was buying anything, so it only made everything even more dull.
Actually, one lady came close to buying something. She left to go get some money, but she never came back. Bitch - she better have had a good excuse! Urg... Okay, since I thought she was going to come back, I went to get the step-ladder so I could get it off of the wall. I had to go behind the curtain, where there's NO room to move, then I got around the corner and stepped onto a platform that I didn't know had wheels on it... I slipped a bit, nearly fell over, then landed on the ground safely. I grabbed the step-ladder, then stepped back onto the platform with wheels, and it wobbled a bit, then back onto stable ground. Since I was concentrating so much on where I was stepping, I turned and *CLINK* ...I hit my head on the fucking pole! Instant migraine! I struggled through the small area behind the curtain, then got out back into the art display. AND SHE NEVER CAME BACK!!! It was [i]completely[/i] pointless!
At about 2 o'clock, the other two volunteers, who were supposed to take over Brian's shift, came. I left, and looked for Brashard, the head of security. I asked him if he needed me to help out, and he led me to the back door, and told me to guard it. Yup, my job was to make sure no one tried to sneak in without paying through the exit.
I went through three other security volunteers. The first guy was there before I got there. He was an old man, and you know how some old men like to talk, and talk, and talk? Well, he was one of them! I suppose it was better than being all alone in the art section half-asleep, but he didn't take a break! And he was there for an hour, too! At 3, a girl in her mid-20's replaced him. She was much more fun to talk to, to be quite honest. We made fun of the orchid-obsessed people, mostly. She told me that one person was selling orchids for $200 each! [i]$200!!![/i] And people were buying them, too! Ahh! After her, at 4, an old woman replaced her. She was one of the orchid-obsessed people Melissa and I were making fun of previously. She kept wandering off to talk to one of the sales-ladies, or random "members of the orchid society"... You heard me right, ORCHID SOCIETY!!! Holy shit, what were they smoking when they came up with [i]that[/i] idea??? Urg...
The place closed at 5, so I left the back door to help Jane take down the art section. My cousin Billy, Jane's son, showed up to help. I was happy he was there, because he's also in grade 11 and we don't talk as much as I'd like us to. Besides, he's cool! XP. I was so upset when we had to take everything down, mainly because I had spent 4.5 hours getting it up there! It only took us 30 minutes to tear it down, too. It made me wonder if it was really worth it. Ah well, either way, it gave me community service hours - and the longer it takes, the more hours I get!
By the end of the day, I had 3 different people ask me which college or university I went to. Hahaha! I always thought I look younger than I actually am, so why did they all think I've graduated from HS already? Weird. *shrugs* Whatever.
Believe it or not, I was actually hungry. My mom drove me to Subway, and I ate it all. I [i]NEVER[/i] eat an entire sub in one sitting! Freakish... (Okay, so I ate about 3/4ths of it - that's still a lot for me!)
You know what sucks most about this? I'm so friggin' tired, and I can't even [i]sleep in[/i] tomorrow! This week has been way too much for me to handle. Well, I guess I know where my limits are; and I now know better than to plan something for every single day in one week.
As for next week's plangs... Tomorrow I can relax, and then on Tuesday I'm going over to Grant's house. And, next weekend, I plan to hold my little over-night Tim Burton Marathon [i]FINALLY[/i]. That should be fun. And, some time in the future, I plan on holding a Matrix Marathon. ^^
Last night my mom and I went to the Nepean Sportsplex to set up for the Orchid Show. There are three sections: - the orchid display; where all the orchids that are in competition are set up. - the art gallery; my Aunt runs it, and different artists enter their artwork in a competition. - the "shop"; you can actually buy orchids in this section, which is pretty cool.
Since my aunt runs the art section, that's where I was working (obviously). I had to help set up all the paintings / pictures and put them on display. My first job was to cut wires and attach them to hooks so we could attach them to the back of the picture and hang it from the curtain rod. My fingers got really sore really fast. Not fun. After we ran out of hooks, my Aunt Jane (the one running it), my mom, my Aunt Joanne, Jane's friend Sylvie, and a woman named Laura all hung it up.
Joanne and I set up all the photography ourselves. I had fun working with her, because I got to talk to her a lot. It's scary how much my mom and her look alike - even though my mom has black hair, and she's blonde. She kept commenting on how patient I was, which surprised me - I always thought I was impatient. I guess I was wrong. *shrugs*
We had gotten in there at 6pm, but we weren't done working until about 10:30! It was fucking nuts! There was over 100 pieces of art, so I guess it's understandable. I went home with a couple cuts on my hands from the wires, and very sore knees from running around and standing so much. It didn't matter to me, though, because I knew that I got rid of a good chunk of my community service hours out of the way.
I managed to fall asleep earlier than usual, which was good. Originally, I woke up at 7am, but I knew I'd need more sleep than that, so I went back to bed. I woke up every hour on the hour until 10. At that point, I got up and took a shower; then I went on MSN until I had to leave at 11:40.
Jane made me run around a bit, making sure that everyone who needed a name tag had one made for them, so that they could get into the show without having to pay. They were for all the artists who were going to show up. I had to get 4 of them made. Afterwards, the two of us double, then triple-checked the winners of the competition (the judges came before I did - the show didn't open until noon, but the competition was judged before that, and I wasn't needed until people started coming in).
After that I had to sit at the table and answer some questions about the art, and try and sell some cards, or, better yet, the art on display. Yup, the art that was in the competition is for sale. I actually sold a few of them, and had to take them down for the people. I was kind of upset, because of how much work went into getting them up there the night before... But whatever, the point was to sell them, so I'm glad.
There is one picture I really like, but I don't know how much it costs. The price wasn't posted on the picture, or in my files (yes, I'm important, so I had files! [i]Ooooh[/i]!). I'm gonna ask Jane tomorrow about it. XP
Around 2 o'clock, an old woman came up and said she'd be taking over my "shift" in thirty minutes. I worked with her for a while instead, then Jane dissapeared. We assume she went home because she never came back, and she took her stuff. I took a 30 minute "break" (she actually said she'd take over completely, and I wasn't going to come back, but I did anyways). I ended up almost falling asleep I was so bored. We didn't sell anything from that point on.
My mom came later to pick me up, at about 4:30. I wanted to leave then, but she wanted to stay - not to look at the Orchid Show, no no, but the Revlon Sale going on across from us! I would have gone with her if she wanted to look ath the orchids, but she didn't. She told me to do whatever I wanted to, so I told her I was walking home and off I went. It didn't take me too long to get home - about 20 minutes.
I got to burn two CD's and I bugged the hell out of Steph while I did so. Well worth my time.
Tomorrow should be more entertaining. I'll probably be working as security, because Jane is supposed to have other volunteers working for her instead. I was talking to Grant about the Show this morning, actually, and he just asked "How would they react if a strange guy in a trench coat bugged the security guard for a while?" and in my head I was just like "YAY!!!". I haven't seen him since Monday, and I was starting to go insane. Although, I'm pretty sure it won't be that thrilling for him... Ah well, I'm just glad he's gonna visit me! *dances* XD
So far: 9.5/40 hours complete! Only 30.5 more to go! 8)
You are purple. What a romantic person you are. You're sentimental and forward-looking (those are opposites.). You're a sophisticated and refined--with a refind taste for chocolates and wine (yum...). Tempermental and moody, you let people know when you're angry. But other times, you just sit and sulk. Alone. When around people, you're a generous person, with insatiable needs. You're a starving artist, basically. You're enjoy getting into debates over politics and religion with people of the same intelligence of you. But you know they can never convince you otherwise, you stubborn person, you. As a unique person you are (not to mention just a tad bit eccentric...), you're well-liked by either a few people, or too many people...
Yesterday night I went and saw The Wiz at my school. It was a musical, and I was completely amazed with some of the voices that I heard. I didn't know that our school had such talent! Jade and I spent the majority of the time laughing at either Mike Tarp and how retarded he looked in his costumes, or at Greg and his dancing; and Steph spent the majority of the time trying to get us to shut up.
Last night I had a weird dream that I was taking care of the mechanical baby (okay, so maybe it was more of a [i]nightmare[/i]), and I forgot it in one of my classes. Then Greg comes up to me later and hands me the baby and tells me that he took care of it for me during the last class, and walked away. I woke up and checked the calandar just to [i]make sure[/i] that it wasn't already May 5th (the day I get it). lol!
I had Parenting first thing this morning (ironic), and I honestly don't remember what happened. I think Jade just made a bracelet and I just kinda zoned off into my own little world as I watched her. *shrugs*
Math was dull - I almost didn't go, but I realised I've been skipping it too much lately. Whatever. He just reviewed over the formulas we're going to need for the test coming up (all of which I have [i]memorized[/i]). After he was done, and assigned us work, I fell asleep. He knows that I know [i]everything[/i] in that course, so he didn't bother to wake me up. For a while I thought I was sleeping in my own bed... Ya, I know, I'm a freak.
There was a buy-out for 3rd period (English) to go to the "Hoops 4 Heart" basketball game in our gym. I bought out, but there was no way I was gonna go to the game. Haha, fuck that! I went into the basement and just kind of slept some more. Colin came down half way through the period, and I was [i]soooo[/i] happy to see him again! I'm glad he's back home. He told me a bit about his little "trip" to North Bay, then the period ended.
I spent lunch with Knockimov, StickKid, Netchaev's little friend / clone (I can't [i]stand[/i] that kid!!!), and AJ. I was like "Ahh! I'm surrounded by fucked-up little grade 10's!" Later Steven and Colin joined the circle, and I was just like "Oh [i]WONDERFUL[/i]!" ...I didn't have fun.
After that I had Bio / spare, so I didnt move. Jade joined me in the basement and the two of us acted like typical teenage girls. It was quite scary - [i]so[/i] out of character for me! But I was happy, so I couldn't help it. ^^
She left half way through the period to go outside, and since I was afraid of getting sun-burnt again, I didn't join her. I looked up and down the empty basement halls for a second, and it was as if I was looking at them through the eyes of a 6 year-old for the first time. I just kept thinking "So [i]this[/i] is what high school is...". I remembered back to when I actually [i]was[/i] 6 - all I was looking forward to was being the top of my elementary school! I wasn't concerned with middle school or high school, I just wanted to be at the top. Well, I'm in grade 11 now. The year is almost over, and next year I'll be at the [i]very[/i] top. I've accomplished so much, and it seems like it all just blew by. Comparing myself to who I was as a child is a joke, because I'm not the same person I once was.
Guess what we did in Careers again today? *gasps* More games! Well, this time was a little different. She made us split ourselves up into three groups; one for the "hands-on" people, one for the people who like to work with words, and the "logical-thinkers". I went into the "logical-thinkers" group. Each group was given a different "assignment", according to what the group was. We were given a puzzle to solve, and I ended up doing most of the work because everyone else was like "uh...?". We actually finished it, too.
We did some character-development activities in Drama class. It was kinda boring, but every class can't be thrilling. We decided that we're doing scene's 1 through 6.
Blah blah blah, came home, did stuff, yadda yadda yadda. Now I'm here. I have to go eat now, then I'm off to set up the Orchid Show. Tomorrow and Sunday I'll be working in it... Oh boy! I'm so freakin' tired... Urg...
Today was mainly Fun 'n Games - hey, I don't mind!
Because I spent so much time outside yesterday I have a friggin' sun burn! Arg, I hate this so much! I burn so easilly, and now I'm afraid to go out in the light because it might just make it worse!
I had to take the bus to school in the morning. Blarg, I hate doing that, because I hate waiting for a bus alone. If I'm with friends, it's no big deal. I got to school sort of almost late-ish, but whatever.
Ancient Civs was fun! People were presenting their "ancient artifacts". There was one group who made a dress all on their own from scratch, and it was really pretty. I wanted to steal it, but it never would have fit me anyways. Oh well. Braden and Sean made armour and swords out of duck tape and fought against each other in the hall. LOL!
Parenting was, again, very awkward with the presance of Steven; but I ignored him for the most part and either talked with Jade, or slipped off into my own little world. For the most part, I was actually happy - so it was all good.
I stood outside the Math room today with everyone else in my class, waiting for the previous class to be finished with their test. Bri walked up to me, and noticed we had a supply teacher and she just said "Fuck that!" and we just walked away. LOL! We went outside and found Jade with Andrew, Adam and Jordan. The 6 of us walked up to the Loeb parking lot across the street, and we just watched Adam and Jordan try tricks on their skateboards. Jade talked like Adam was the best skateboarder in the world, but he didn't seem to be anything special. Either he's not that great, or today was an "off" day for him. He actually got himself in the balls with the nose of the skateboard, and couldn't move for about 10 minutes! Lmao - it was sooo great, because he was just lying on the ground twitching as everyone was nearly pissing themselves laughing!
After that period was over, we all returned to the school for lunch. I ended up being the [i]only[/i] person sitting in the basement, so I fell asleep. Jess (C, not the evil bitch Jess F that pisses everyone off) came up to me and we just talked for the first time in months. So much has changed, so it was nice to update each other. ^^
Greg told me that our Photography class was cancelled today, so I was happy. We found Andrew in the hallway, and since he has a spare period 7, we all went to the mall. Greg grabbed an application form for Farm Boy for himself, and one for me. So yes, I will be applying for a job at Farm Boy (again - I lost my first application before I handed it back to them!). Then we went to Subway, and I saw my old friend Vanny, who used to live next door to me sitting in one of the booths there. We didn't talk, because we were both with friends.
Andrew and I spent most of the time arguing back and forth over who dumped who after our 4-day relationship. And, I distinctly remember, even though the the want for the breakup was mutual, I was the one who said it was over - therefore [i]I DUMPED HIM![/i] He kept pressing on that he dumped me, even though we both [i]know[/i] that he didn't - infact, even [i]Greg[/i] knew. After about 30 minutes of us arguing back and forth, it was no longer funny, but irritating.
By the time Bio / my spare rolled around, I was in a pissy mood. Then Andrew called in Steven to help decide who was right, and I just exploded. I told them both to fuck off and leave me alone because they were giving me a headache (even though they weren't), so they left. I just lay on the floor in the basement all alone, until about half way through... That's when everyone who was skipping flooded into the basement and circled around and started talking loudly. [i]That's[/i] when I started to get a headache! They were just telling jokes to each other... Here's one:
A Bear is chasing a Rabbit through a forest, and they trip over a Genie's lamp. The Genie pops out, and offers to grant them 3 wishes each. The Bear makes the first wish and says "I wish that all the bears in this forest were female!". The Rabbit then makes a wish, "I wish for a motorcycle helmet.". Then the Bear says "Wait, no - I wish that all the bears in this [i]country[/i] were female!". Then the Rabbit makes his second wish, "I wish for a motorcycle.". The Bear then makes his third and final wish, "Infact, I wish that all the bears in the [i]world[/i] were female!". The little Rabbit just laughs and jumps onto his new motorcycle, and puts on his helmet and says "I wish he was gay." and drives away.
Fun stuff. I went to Careers, and we played yet another game! I'm starting to like going to class... lol! We had 5 people standing in a circle around a table, then five sitting down around them. There were two of these groups, and the 5 standing up were to try and build the tallest house of cards. The 5 sitting down were to pick one person that was standing up and study how they work in a group (only the 5 standing up didn't know they were being studied). It was fun, because I was sitting down first, and I had to watch Brian Harrison's little sister. She ended up being "the brains" of the group; the person who doesn't do much building, but has all the ideas to make it work.
When it was our turn to build, we knew we were being watched, but we just didn't know by who. It was actually a lot of fun, because I've never even tried building a house out of cards before. I ended up taking over the building part, and everyone was just kind of helping me... So when it got around to who was "studying" me, they announced that I was the "leader" of the group, and that I was good at it. My jaw nearly hit the table! I didn't really even realise that I was much of a leader until today, when it was pointed out to me. But, now that I think back, I've always liked to be in charge of a group of people. It's just how I work, I guess. *shrugs*
While I was waiting for a bus, Vlada walks up to me and I was just like "What the hell are you doing here???". She's one of Steph's old friends, but she went to a different HS. She explained that she had a half-day at school, and she came to meet Steph at the mall. I told her she was sick, so instead she decided to come back with me on the bus and meet her here. There was a little group of us - it was me, Vlada, Krystal, Alisson, Sam and some girl I don't know the name of. Every single one of them ditched me when Steven came to the bus stop. They didn't even sit [i]near[/i] me when the bus came (and it took forever to come, too - it was nearly 20 minutes late!). I was so pissed off, and I had to explain [i]why[/i], which wasn't pleasant.
Once I got home, I signed in on MSN, and Grant and I talked about the one topic that we've managed to avoid. Our ex's. There were a lot of similarities in what we did to deal with being dumped; but I kind of assumed that there would be. Everyone who's been in a long-term relationship that ends goes through nearly the same things. It's how we, as people, deal with heart-break. Poorly. lol! But, as the saying goes, "time heals all wounds". And it's true - no matter how much you hate hearing it, you know it's true.
I'll probably update again tonight, after I go see The Wiz at the school. It should be fun - I've been looking forward to seeing it for a while now. *dances*
I caught the bus at about 4:25, even though I didn't have to be at the school until 5. I don't know why, but whatever. I went to the Esso first and bought myself a popsicle, then walked to the front of the school. Gavin and Jake were already there, and I thought I'd be the first. Wow, shows what I know. lol.
Omg - it was sooo funny! They were playing with the hackie, and I threatened to fight Gavin as a joke. He was just like "Oh ya, you wanna go?", and thew down the hackie and instead of it hitting the ground, it kinda... Well, it hit Jake in the balls! XD
We hung out and talked to random people who were showing up at the school early for The Wiz prep (the first show went up today - I'm going to see it tomorrow). We mainly just talked to Greg, Katie and Andrew F. Andrew C. came shortly after, and all we had to do was wait for Jade.
She was about 30 minutes late because she had just gotten back from a dentist appointment. She had a new retainer, and it was [i]brutal[/i]. Since she wasn't used to having it, she had a friggin hilarious lisp! We were making her say things like "Bitch", "Sarah" and "Sexual Harassment" ("Bish, Shawah, Shexshual Hawashment"). She got so fed up of us laughing at her that she took it out.
While we were waiting at some random bus station, Gavin decided to go get himself an ice cream. He was eating it and he asked "Do I have any ice cream on my face?" and Jake burst out laughing and said "I heard you say [i]scrotum cream[/i]!" Funny shit! We were just like "How the hell did you get [i]scrotum [/i]from [i]ice[/i]?"
The people on the busses with us were absolutly [i]terrified[/i] of us! There was one little blonde boy, about 7 years old, who would flinch whenever I looked at him! But he'd laugh his ass off at our conversations. I think he was happy when we got off of the bus... XP
So we bought out tickets, and noticed we had an hour to dick around with until the movie started. I managed to mooch $5 from Andrew (not on purpose! he offered it to me!) and Jade and I got ourselves french fries. I was actually hungry, for some odd reason. Hm... Maybe I'm sick? I dunno.
Okay, so we walk into the theatre about 20 minutes before it was supposed to start, and there was absolutly [i]no one[/i] in there! It was [i]completely[/i] empty! Jade and I were just like "Well, damn - we're never going to find a seat now!" XD. A fair ammount of people came in later, but it was just so funny to be the firsts in there.
The movie itself was [i]really[/i] good. I mean, I never read the comics or anything, so I don't know how it is in comparison, but I really liked it. At the end, when he goes on a killing-spree (I didn't ruin it for you, you knew he would anyways!) I just started hysterically laughing and everyone in the theatre thought I was sadistic. Jade joined in with my laughter, so it wasn't like I was [i]completely[/i] insane... (sure, keep telling yourself that)
My mom picked Jade and I up after the movie, and now I'm here. And I'm tired. This week has taken a lot out of me... And it's not over yet. Tomorrow I'm going to see The Wiz, then it's the Orchid Show. I'm actually looking forward to that; it'll be an interesting change of pace for me. ^^
Wow... I'm one of those "freaky teenagers" you see hanging out in front of the school!
Urg, I had to wake up early this morning so I could take a shower because I didn't get to last night. But, at least it woke me up. I just don't like waking up any earlier than I have to.
Yesterday I kept thinking it was a Friday, and now today I keep thinking it's Thursday. I'm fucked up, man!
Mr.VanDusen wasn't here today, so our class was almost free. We didn't really do anything. Brianne and I just discussed the most recent soap-opera life that's being flipped upside-down, and worked on our project that's due tomorrow. Today I discovered how much I dislike Matt. He's too vulgar and loud. I want to kick the back of his chair each time he pretends to give a blow job in the middle of class. Urgh! I feel like throwing up each time he does it, too! Would someone PLEASE remove his brain so he's just a shell of a human and can no longer cause me emotional harm? Thank you!
Macbeth is an awesome play, just so you all know. If they aren't forcing you to read it in school, read it on your own time. Or rent the movie, if you're too lazy.
Parenting was, um, awkward. Kelsey and Erika went, but Jade and Mal skipped. Urg. And, ya, Steven went too. I didn't look him once in the eye. I couldn't do it; I hate him too much. If I look at him I will punch him in the fucking face. Part of me hopes to see that he does get expelled...
Greg and I just kind of wandered around looking for people for the majority of the lunch. Half of them were in One Act rehersal, and the other half were outside smoking. We just waited in the basement for them to come back, and then everyone attacked Mal, Geoff, Erica and Chris - because they all left at the end of the hour. They're going to Oshawa for Sears Fest competition for 5 days. *sobs* I miss you guys already!
Today was the first time where I have not looked forward to going to Drama class. I knew Geoff wasn't going to be there, so it was going to be just Carl and I working on the scene study. Out of the past week and a half, we have only had ONE day where all three of us have been together to work on it! And now he's going to be gone for 5 more days - we're going to be so behind!
Photography was a studio period, which I would have used to take pictures, had I remembered to bring my camera to school today. Instead, Greg, Ryan and I walked to the Esso across the street and bought a slushie; then we hung out with Jade and her random smoking-friends underneath the flag-pole outside. It was good for me, because I've been trying to quit, and I've always prefered second-hand smoke. *shrugs* I'm weird.
Random people would sit on my lap, but I didn't mind. When Mandy and Sharlyn came up, nearly everyone broke into song (Sharlyn played the guitar for them). Jade preformed her Blues song (which, by the way, I still need to get the lyrics for!). Greg and I (Ryan already left) headed back to the Photography class about 10 minutes before the period ended, so it wouldn't look like we were "skipping" (by that I mean "not using our class time productively"). Staci tried to tempt me to stay with ice cream, and it almost worked. ...[i]Almost[/i].
I returned to the flag pole during the next class (bio / self-proclaimed spare), and just hung around with Jade and her slightly adjusted group of friends. Half of them went to class, and a new group of them were skipping. This Josh kid was humping all the guys, then he mooned Jade (ya, I didn't cover my eyes soon enough so I saw his boney pale ass! *vomits*). Staci joined us later on, and the two of us kind of blocked out the rest of the group and talked about jobs and stuff. She invited me to her house party on Friday; but as many of you already know, I'm completely booked! Damn me and my community service hours!
But ya, the title of this blog refers to the two classes I spent sitting outside with the smoker punk kids, laughing and being a fuck-tard with my friends. When I was a child and we'd drive by Merivale HS (my high school), I would see those kids and I'd be a little frightened of them. Mainly because they looked scary. But now I'm one of them, and I know how much I was wrong about them being "scary". It's funny, the things you learn as you grow up.
My walk home from school was interesting. For the first fiew minutes there was these guys walking behind me, talking about all the people from elementary school and middle school that they no longer talk to. Like, now that they're in high school, they no longer talk to the people they used to hang out with every day. It made me think about all my friends from elementary and middle school, and I miss them. I miss a lot of people. Life is so different - it can change so drastically in one year, and you don't even notice it because it's so gradual. It's only when you stop and think do you realise how much time has really gone by, and how everything around you is changing. Change isn't [i]always[/i] bad, though.
Hm... I have to leave to be at the school in an hour to meet my friends. We're all bussing to the theatre to see The Punisher. I should probably stop writing, in that case.
Chances are, for the rest of this (school) week, I'll be writing 2 blogs every day. One to describe how my day went, and one to describe how my evening went. Alright, as you already probably know, I went to Tom's house this afternoon...
Braden got lost trying to find my house, because he forgot one little detail... You must pull into the parking lot, first! So ya, he tells me on the way there that Tom didn't know that I was coming. *claps* Bra-vo, Braden. He also invited Aundre, a guy I never met before, without telling Tom. What a friend, eh?
We watched Monty Python for a couple hours before the game started. We just kind of goofed around, making fun of each other...
[b]Aundre:[/b] Hey, Tom - do you have any kleenex? [b]Tom: [/b]No, I ran out. I'll go get some from upstairs. [b]Naomi:[/b] You ran out? What did you [i]use[/i] it all for, Tom? [b]Everyone:[/b] *bursts out laughing* [b]Tom:[/b] *leaves room, still laughing* [b]Naomi:[/b] *lies down on pillow* Hey, this pillow smells funny... [b]Sarah:[/b] Well what did you expect? He ran out of kleenex! [b]Everyone:[/b] Aw, eeeeeew!
...Then everything went serious when the game started. Everyone was really into it, yelling and cheering and what-not. I was just kind of off in my own little world. I mean, I was still getting into the game, just not as much as they were. I was never really one for Hockey. *shrugs*
Sens lost. Boo, hiss! Ah well, I don't really care. I just cheered for them because they're my home team. After it was over everyone just started making out with each other (not at random! Geez, we're not running a whore-house! Everyone's dating each other). I was just like "Well, I've had about enough of this..." And I got up and went up stairs and put my shoes on and got ready to leave. Everyone followed after me, because Braden was driving us all home, and he needed to come with me. XD (ya, that wasn't the first time I've done something like that).
Nearly the entire night I noticed Tom and Naomi would bicker about the stupidest things. Like, whether or not Tom "snapped" at her, or if Naomi wasn't being "polite enough" when asking him to pass her coke. They've been together for about 10 months now, and I'm suspecting it won't last much longer. It reminded me of the last month Steven and I were together; constantly arguing over things that shouldn't matter. It's probably because they've been together so long that they're starting to get on each others nerves. It's kind of sad when you know that a relationship is going downhill.
I got home at about 10:30pm, and ate a bit of dinner, then signed in on MSN. Grant was online, and we started talking. Somehow I ended up mentioning how we didn't really know any of the basic facts about each other, and we just started asking random questions back and forth. I told him more than I expected to, actually... *blush*
And shit, shit, shitter monkies - I forgot to take a shower! That means I'm going to have to wake up early. God damnit. Well, I should probably get to sleep now, in that case.
Dude - I finally got off of my lazy ass and bought Matrix Revolutions!
Do you ever have those mornings where you're just so comfortable, lying in bed, that you refuse to get up? I had one of those mornings. I had left my window open all night and it was cold everywhere in my room except for in my bed. It was so cozy... Then my sister woke me up. *grog*
Carl did his presentation on the Hundred Years War today in Ancient Civs. I felt so bad, I wanted to pay attention, I really did, but my eyes just wouldn't keep open for the life of me. The rest of the class was a blur. I feel so guilty, too, because Carl is my friend, and I fell asleep during his presentation! Aw...
I was still tired when I went into Math class - I kept awake long enough to recieve a new project, then went back to dream-land. The bell woke me up, and I went to English class. Ms.Morris wasn't here today, so the Student Teacher was in total control. He actually let us stop for a while and listen to Brandon's funky ring-tones on his cell phone that he's been downloading. He is a much better teacher than Ms.Morris, even if he [i]is[/i] a pervert.
I spent the entire lunch hour with Mal. She was waiting for her brother Mike (her actual brother), because he was going on a field trip to see The Wiz. Our school was presenting it for the grade 8's all afternoon today, and Mal's brother was going. He didn't show up during lunch, and we kind of suspected he wouldn't anyways. We went into the basement and talked about things that have been going on with our friends lately, then went into the foyer to talk with Jade and Cory (Chris and Crystal came with us).
Careers was actually fun for once. We were discussing team work, and how it's useful in the work place. Then she started talking about how sometimes they go on retreats to work on their team work skills (I already knew this). We spent the class playing the team work building games that they would do on the retreats. It was fun watching blind-folded people search for keys... lol!
Drama class was cancelled, due to The Wiz. Mr.Mo was directing it, so he was unable to teach our class. Also, because of the play going on, the foyer and the A-Wing were closed off. ...My Photography class is [i]in[/i] the A-Wing. Therefore, it was cancelled, too. Careers was the last class of the day, for me! Yeeehaw!
Since the foyer was closed off, I had to walk to the mall to call my mom. I wanted her to drive up to HMV just down the road a bit and pick me up there. Yes, I was at HMV buying Matrix Revolutions. I now own all 3 of the Matrix movies. Go me!
Last night I discovered I'm addicted to any kind of solitaire game. I've been learning all these new kinds lately, and I've become obsessed with them. I sometimes even play while on MSN, so if I'm ever set to "away", or "busy" - chances are I'm sitting on my floor with a deck of cards playing Accordion. Right now, I'm playing Clocks on my computer. XD
Braden and Sophie are going to be picking me up here at about 5pm so we can go over to Tom's and watch the Hockey Game with everyone else. It'll be nice to hang out with all of them again; I haven't in [i]months[/i]! I was afraid I was going to drift away from them entirely; but I should have known that they wouldn't let me. Hehe! ^^
Scratch that whole "today is / was the only free day I have / had". I went over to Grant's house, because we realised that this would be the only chance to hang out all week. Hahaha.
The weather was so nice outside, I went out into the parking lot and waited for him as soon as he signed out. I just lay on the dumpster in the wind, and I nearly fell asleep. I brought my Alexisonfire CD so we could listen to it in the car, and he's borrowing it so he can burn a copy for himself. Burning a copy of a burnt copy of a CD... Wow, you know the world's cheap [i]WHEN[/i]...! lol!
We rented Clerks, and for a good chunk of the movie, one of his cats had his paw on my hand. Then he went bi-polar on me and attacked my arm. I just stared him down and started "trash-talking" him. I was victorious! He backed down once he realised he couldn't win. Muahahahaha! ... *ahem*
The movie itself was awesome. Very funny - you should all go and see it. NOW! lol. Haha - I'd be tramatized too, if I fucked a corpse! ...Well I would be! After the movie we, and by "we" I mean Grant, played Tony Hawks. I didn't mind watching, infact, I insisted I only watch. Sometimes I like to play, and sometimes I just like to watch. *shrugs*
After I got home, Andrew called me and we just talked for about 30 minutes about the new Zelda game (Chris was over at his house playing it). Then we came across the fact that the plans for going over to his house tomorrow won't work, because no one else can make it.
Then, I got a brilliant plan. I changed my MSN name to something along the lines of "Tomorrow is suddenly free, who wants to do something?". Braden mentioned how everyone from one of my other groups of friends (I have a few scattered out in the school, and I just kind of float sometimes) were going over to Tom's house to watch the hockey game and some Monty Python. He invited me to go along, so that's what I'm doing instead.
So, to summarize, a couple plans changed, but in the end my week is turning out to be even busier than before! Let's recap...
[b]Today[/b] - [i]Movie at Grant's house[/i] [b]Tuesday[/b] - [i]Hockey Game at Tom's[/i] [b]Wednesday[/b] - [i]Theatre, "The Punisher"[/i] [b]Thursday[/b] - [i]School Play, "The Wiz"[/i] [b]Friday[/b] - [i]Set-up for Orchid Show[/i] [b]Saturday[/b] - [i]Orchid Show[/i] [b]Sunday[/b] - [i]Orchid Show[/i]
Oh, and I forgot to mention! Friday is my mom and dad's 16th wedding anniversary! Funny, I'm [i]already[/i] 16... :roll:
And, just a side note before I go... Colin came online tonight, and he told me that he's coming back to Ottawa. I was so happy! Wait, I [i]still am[/i] happy! COLIN'S COMING HOME!!!
My week is completely booked. Tonight is the only free night I have until next Monday! Tomorrow Andrew's planning on having a gang of people over to watch the hockey game. Then on Wednesday Gavin wants to get everyone to go see The Punisher in theatres; this would be because last time they all went out to see a movie they forgot to call me and he felt really guilty about accidentally leaving me out. Hehe, so nice! Then Thursday night our school is putting on a play ("The Wiz") and I'm going to go see it with Jade, because nearly all of my friends are in it. It should be fun. And, sometime in there, Grant wants to get together. I don't know if I'll be able to pull it off, though - which makes me sad.
And yes, finally, Friday, Saturday and Sunday I'm going to be working towards getting rid of my community service hours! I'll be working for my aunt Jane in an Orchid Show. I'm supposed to get rid of about 20 of my 40 hours, so it's a pretty sweet deal! I so totally suck, it's my second last year of high school and I'm just starting to work towards getting my hours out of the way. Wow, talk about slacking off!
So that's my week to come, now about the day that just passed...
This morning was absolutly beautiful! It was breasy, still cool - not too hot and not too cold. Perfect weather. I was in a pretty okay mood until I actually got to school. I'm usually upset when someone skips a class, but I was glad Steven didn't show up to Parenting. We discussed what to do if a toddler throws a tantrum in a mall.
Jade's pretty upset about Matt, and I wish I could help her. I'm just doing the best I can by telling her to avoid him at all costs. She blocked and deleted him on MSN, and I'm proud of her for that - she did it without my telling her. She is getting better, but she just needs a little support. We all love you Jadey! You don't need that emo bastard!
Guidance appointments are a god-sent. Mrs.Dickson made one with me just so I could hand her back that green slip I needed to get signed. But, since my Math teacher thought I was in the Guidance Office, I just didn't go back to class. I was only there for a total of 30 seconds, too. Ah, fun stuff. I went into the basement and [i]finally[/i] finished reading the first chapter in "Time Enough For Love". It's about time, too, because I have been trying to finish it for about three months now. I just don't have much time for reading anymore. My dad thinks that I'm just not interested in the book, but it's really not that. I've been looking forward to reading it ever since I got it. It's one of his favourite books, that's why he wants me to read it so much - my first cat was named after the main character, Lazerus. Hehe ^^
In English class we finally watched the scene in the movie where Macbeth kills the King. Took us long enough, eh? Very raunchy. I hate how slowly we're going with it, though! It makes me want to take the play home and read it myself. But, as I have already stated, I don't have the time. *sighs*
During Lunch, I mainly hung out with Gavin, Geoff and Tyler. We were all discussing video games. Apparently I'm Tyler's Harvest Moon guru. XD! But, the main video game we were talking about, yes, brace yourself, was... the gameboy Pokemon series. Yup; I was a Pokemon [i]Master[/i]! On my Red game I had all [i]151[/i] Pokemon. We were talking about it mainly because Gavin had just started playing Pokemon Silver. His goal for the lunch hour was to catch a Mareep - and he did. So we were happy, and we celebrated. And we're sad, shut up! lol!
After Lunch was over, Steven came up to me and said "I need a hug". The first thing that came to mind was "You don't need a hug, you need a swift kick in the balls, asshole!" - I didn't say it, but that's what I was thinking. I told him I wouldn't hug him because I was mad, and he just replied "Ya, well I'm mad at you, too." I had to tell him that it wasn't about that (the last time I talked to him we were fighting about something completely different, and the last thing I said to him before I signed out was "Fuck you." ...heh. ^^') and I explained that I heard what he was doing. He just looked awkwardly and walked away. Fucking idiot.
I had my "spare", so I didn't move when the bell rang. Gavin decided to stay with me because I was going to be all alone if he didn't. Then Chris magically showed up and the three of us just hung out. "Omg - I have a foot-print on my crotch!" Good times. ...I didn't kick him! I just pressed my foot onto the zipper of Gavin's pants to make it [i]look[/i] like he was kicked! He went home eventually, then the bell rang and I was too lazy to get up and go to Careers, so I just kind of rolled over and fell asleep on the floor.
Drama cheered me up, because I was kind of in a shitty mood. Both Geoff and Carl were there today, for the first time since we were assigned groups. We read over the entire play, and made jokes about how Carl should dress in drag and act as a girl. Aw man, last year was friggin' hilarious! James had to be a girl in a scene study, and he wore a yellow wig, a summer dress and a pound of makeup for the preformance! It was the highlight of the Drama year!
I walked home in the even-more-perfect weather than this morning. It was incredibly windy and a little bit rainy, and I was happy. I love this kind of weather! Puddles are fun, but I don't like the evil wormies. ...I swear, I'm not 2 - I really [i]am[/i] 16!
Nearly everyone I once knew is gone, and I'm surrounded by strangers
Today has been a rollercoaster of shitty emotions.
I wrote the below blog earlier today when I was incredibly depressed, and yes, I still feel the same way. I've been feeling that for a long time now. I even wrote about it in previous entries.
This morning Jade told me that my friend Colin picked up and left for North Bay. He has been living with his grandmother for a little while now, and apparently his dad threatened to cut off his support if he didn't return. He didn't even say goodbye to me. I didn't even know he was leaving until he had already left...
I picked up my photoalbum and scrap book and flipped through the pages of my past. I looked down at all the faces of people who have left my life in one way or another, and I started to cry. I never realised what kind of an impact everyone had on my life until today. I guess that saying is true, you never truly appreciate something until it's gone.
There was one face in my book that made me cry even more. Kyle. He was a neighbour of mine, and one of my best friends. He was like the little brother I never had. He lived here for about 3 years, and we hung out in the field whenever we could... I miss those summer days when we'd just go out at night and wander through the grass and trees just because we can, talking about whatever random shit we could think of. I haven't talked to him since the beginning of the school year, because he moved to NB. I just miss him so much...
And I didn't stop crying until I read Jade's blog. Well, the beginning when she talked about how much she missed being in Edmonton made me cry, I admit, but the last paragraph... I was too pissed to cry anymore. Steven, I have absolutly [i]no[/i] respect left for you [i]at all[/i]. Have a [i]wonderful[/i] life.
I've discovered something... No matter how much fun I have, I still feel like life isn't worth living. Not to me, anyways; because I can't get rid of this empty feeling. So why aren't I dead yet?
I need a reason to be alive that's for me, to give me a feeling that I belong here. I can't live for everyone else, I have to live because I want to. But I don't...
I saw this survey thing a while back, but I didn't bother to fill it in until now... Go me.
[i]1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says.[/i] "...dream, you abandoned..." (It's the first page of the letter "A" in my Dream Dictionary)
[i]2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?[/i] Gumby and Pokey figures
[i]3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?[/i] Um... Much Music I believe...
[i]4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess wad time is it.[/i] 12:30pm
[i]5. Now look at the clock, what time is it?[/i] 12:32pm - go me!
[i]6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?[/i] I'm playing the Alexisonfire CD - I can also hear my mom doing the dishes downstairs.
[i]7. When did you last step outside? what were you doing?[/i] I got out of my car and walked back into my house after being out all night...
[i]8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?[/i] DeviantArt
[i]9. What are you wearing?[/i] An oversized t-shirt and... wait, no, that's it.
[i]10. Did you dream last night?[/i] I drempt that someone (I can't remember who) was playing craps, and a hobo was the house, and my friend was kicking ass. It was interesting. And they were playing with American money... Weird.
[i]11. When did you last laugh? [/i] On the bus last night with Grant
[i]12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?[/i] Dark blue paint, white shelves, 11 framed pictures of wild animals, a poster of Bart Simpson writing lines, a poster of Homer with random quotes of his, a Linkin Park poster, a map of Whistler, a ceramic moon, a ceramic letter S with my name written inside of it, and my wolf calendar.
[i]13. Seen anything weird lately?[/i] Probably, but I can't remember...
[i]14. What do you think of this quiz?[/i] It's special with a capitol "R" - lol, I dunno, it's different, I'll give you that much.
[i]15. What is the last film you saw?[/i] 10 Things I Hate About You
[i]16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?[/i] A nice house in PEI and in Whistler - then a good car to get me back and forth (fuck planes! ROAD TRIP!)
[i]17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.[/i] My sister woke me up at 10am and force-fed me half a sandwich.
[i]18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?[/i] End world hunger? I dunno!
[i]19. Do you like to dance?[/i] Depends on how hyper I am (and by "hyper", I mean drunk)
[i]20. George Bush?[/i] Hey, not my problem - I'm Canadian. XP
[i]21a. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?[/i] Carmen
[i]21b. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?[/i] Tyson
[i]22. Would you ever consider living abroad?[/i] It's all I have to look forward to in life.
Today was the False Reaction show. I had been looking forward to seeing them for a long time now, so I was pretty excited. It was supposed to be Jade, Adam, Grant, Becky, Dan and I, but both Becky and Dan bailed on us.
Ooh - before I left for the show, I spent time with my mom! It was great! We watched 10 Things I Hate About You together. I didn't expect her to like it, but she did. Dad drove me out to Club SAW after and we blasted Colective Soul. Good stuff.
I ended up waiting for 45 minutes all by myself for everyone to show up. Jade and Adam showed up first and we waited for a bit for Grant to show up, but we gave up and just went in. I later found out that he was [i]right there[/i] when we decided to head into the show - woops.
The band that was up first wasn't bad - but the singer was absolutly dreadful. She sounded like a bag of cats being hurled at a brick wall. Hahaha, not really, but she did suck. She looked like Lee-Ann, too and Jade and I were just like "Eeew..." lol!
It was so dissapointing - there was no pit! We weren't even standing! And there was only about 20 people there, so we were all sitting on the floor just watching them like it was some school play you watched in kindergarden.
Speaking of plays... There was one going on a floor or two above us, so we kept getting noise complaints! NOISE COMPLAINTS!!! At a punk show! I mean, [i]honestly[/i]! Yeesh!
False Reaction was okay. Not spectacular; those guys can play, but Matt cannot sing - so he kind of dragged the band down a bit there. It didn't matter, though, because I was still having fun. But now I need to go to a [i]real[/i] show or I'm going to go insane. I need to be in a pit again! Ah well...
Jade and Adam left after False Reaction, but Grant and I wanted to see the next band because we heard a lot of good things about them. But, because the show was on welfare, they had to wait 15 minutes for the play upstairs to finish! We were just like "well fuck that!" and we left as well.
We kind of just wandered for a few minutes, then decided to go into the Rideau Centre. Seemingly pointless, because everything was closed - but I'm glad we did; because Jade and Adam came around the corner and was like "Shwhat?". The scary thing was, just before we walked into them I had thought "Haha, imagine they're just around the corner walking this way..." and they [i]were[/i]! I was just like O.O!
Adam jumped onto a bus as soon as we got out of the Rideau Centre, and Grant and I decided to wait with Jade for her bus. It took about 45 minutes, but that didn't matter. It was fun. At one point we were talking about the mechanical babies in Parenting class... Urg... I get the new mechanical one (the one that [i]doesn't [/i]come with a key, this time!) on May 5th. That'll be one hell of a day! *dies*
Jadey left us, and we decided to search for coffee. I don't know why, considering it was about 9 o'clock... It was a good thing I more or less knew my way around downtown. As long as I know where the Parliament Buildings are, I'm good.
Eventually we found Chapters, which always has a Starshmucks. Apparently the coffee tasted like ass, so Grant just left it on the sidewalk when we were heading back towards Rideau Centre to catch a bus.
Omg - there was these guys who walked up to us and asked if we would give them $3 so they could buy some weed. I just stared at them for a couple seconds in complete and utter disbelief. Urgh! There was [i]no way[/i] I was going to support them and their drug addictions. After they were out of ear shot, Grant pointed out that they probably chose to ask us because we looked like pot-heads ourselves. I was just like "...OMG!".
Grant took the 95 with me to Baseline Station so I wouldn't have to bus alone, and because it would be closer for his mom to pick him up. I was glad he did, too - I would have been so bored. We both got picked up and driven home from there.
And now I'm in a shitty mood, but I'm not going to say why for the safety of the readers. I'm going to bed now.
I'm so tired right now, I can't even come up with a title for this blog!
*ahem* Alrighty then, about my day... I'll try to remember everything!
My teacher thought it would be fun to give us a test in Ancient Civs first thing in the morning on a Friday. Haha, good joke, sir. *glares*. I completely bombed it, but whatever. In Parenting Jade was incredibly hyper because Andrew (not our crazy Andrew, a different one) asked her out. lol! Then Mal and I just joked about a lot of dirty things, which was fun. XD. Math was kinda boring; I talked to Bri about her cousin who's a competitive dirt-bike racer.
I don't remember what I did at lunch, so I suck. lol! I just shat around during Photography, and handed in my double-exposure picture. Geoff and Megan came into our class because they just got back from their Insight show, and hadn't signed in yet. Ryan called Megan a whore, which didn't surprise me because he calls all females whores. Yes, he's "special".
You know what? I'm not going to bother calling Bio a class of mine anymore. I don't go to it, and I won't pass it, therefore, it shouldn't count. Fuck it! So on my spare (*cough*) I hung out with Jadey as she wrote down this blues song she made up the previous period. It's about someone eating their pet rat named Jack. Funny shit, that is. I'm gonna post the lyrics when / if she sends them to me.
Careers was a waste of time, again. We were divided into groups and we were told to do a little mini in-class project on something. My group was assigned "stress management". Ironic. We had to make a list of tips for how to handle stress, and my group was just like "well... um... I dunno because I'm just a stupid little grade 10!" and I just started listing all of these things. lol! I did the entire list myself.
After school I met up with Mal, Geoff and Chris and we went outside by the bike racks and waited. I asked them previously to wait for Grant with me. Omg, I had so much fun! Geoff is now named the "Mal-o-Meter", and we came up with a theory on the very first sun dial. Get a male cave-man to lie naked on his back... "It's half-past a freckle!" (Chris almost hurt himself laughing when I said that!).
To all of our surprise, Grant showed up early. He said he'd be there at 3:30, but he showed up at 3. Y'know, it was weird, he [i]actually[/i] put up with everyone and [i]didn't[/i] run away! hehe. Ooh! This lady was at the bus stop and she brought a shopping cart from the Loeb across the street and I was just like "Geoff! Go get it!" ...And he did! I jumped into it and he pushed me around for a little while. Fun stuff.
We hung around the school for about an hour before Mal, Geoff and Chris all decided to leave to catch the bus home. Grant wanted to check out the zippos in the knife shop in Merivale mall, so we headed there first (not far, across the street). He had never been there before. Crazy!
Hahaha - his parking job was [i]priceless[/i]! He was just like "Okay, lets see how bad of a parking job I did..." We get out... he parked ON the yellow line! XD. Anyways! So ya, he bought a zippo and some lighter fluid, then we headed off.
And now matter how much you want them to, Grant, the other drivers [i]can't[/i] hear you! lol!
We rented Dogma; hahaha, great movie. Sure, it's about religion and stuff, but it's [i]funny[/i]! After that we went back out and rented Final Destination 2 and laughed at everyone dying. Fun stuff that is.
Bug spray is flammable, and we had zippos... and a stuffed fish! Yes, we poured bug spray onto a stuffed fish in his back yard and set it on fire and just watched it burn.
We returned to his basement and just blasted music. I went back and forth between watching him play random games and downloading songs. And yes, I got him the demon song "This Love" by Maroon 5. Damn song will never get out of my head! Ahh!
I didn't get home until midnight - I honestly didn't expect to stay that long! But I had a lot of fun just hanging out with him. Tomorrow is the False Reaction show that we're all going to ("we" as in Becky, Jade, Grant and I). I need to get some rest!
Even the most entertaining of days can make you SCREAM!
I never did make it to the movie last night. No one called me so I didn't know which theatre to go to. Oh well, I didn't really want to see "Girl Next Door" anyways.
I had a very fun conversation with Mal and Geoff last night. They invited me into their convo to be a witness / help them decide the punishment for a bet. Mal bet Geoff that the Sens would win, and he bet her that the Leafs would win (Hockey). They wanted me to decide the punishment for the loser and I was just like "Um... Sex? Yes, the loser has to be on top!" Then Geoff went on and was being stupid and I just screamed "No sex for you!" So I'm now known as "the Sex Nazi". XD!!!
As for today, I'm gonna skip over Ancient Civs since it was so boring and just tell you about English. It was quite fun. We were watching Macbeth again, and the fire alarm went off. We all exited the school, and I went to my usual spot in the back of the school by the second football field and waited for some of my friends to show up (we always meet up there - not planned, it's just a known fact).
Andrew popped up and we started having a debate on whether or not clear lead existed. That kid will defend anything! Clear lead will never happen, no matter how much he wants it to! When we were being let back in, he started talking about what would happen if everyone's tongues rebelled. I was just like "Okay, Andrew - when everyone starts to turn purple and falls to the ground, THEN you know that everyone's tongues have rebelled!" Mal laughed for about five minutes straight. lol!
That fire drill lasted nearly the entire period. Someone came on the PA system and announced "Sorry about that, folks - that wasn't a drill. But don't worry, there wasn't really a fire! Apparently the foods class burnt their sausages." Everyone uproared. Five minutes later she came back on, "I've been corrected - they didn't burn them; there's just poor ventilation in the foods class." lol!
I found out in parenting that it was Kelsey's class who "burnt" the sausages. And it was Kris's fault, apparently, because she kept turning hers and it was giving off a lot of smoke. LOL! Thanks, Kris! XD!!! Jade was on the Law field trip, and Steven was being an idiot, so it was just me, Mal, Kelsey and Erika at our table today. We spent the entire period talking about Erika's soap-opera life. She has a crush on this guy, who likes her back; but the guy she [i]used[/i] to like (who didn't like her at the time) now likes her, too. And here's the kicker - they're brothers. So the guy she [i]does[/i] like won't go out with her because of his brother! I know it's hard for her, but I still find it funny (mainly because I know it'll all work out in the end anyways).
Omg - I [i]actually[/i] ate my lunch today! I don't know why, either; I just... did. The first full "meal" I've eaten since Sunday. I'm proud of myself ^^.
We just kind of sat around in the basement and talked all lunch, I don't really remember what about. Oh well. Drama was right after lunch, so I didn't have to move much. Steven was just like "Naw, I don't [i]feel[/i] like going to Science..." I grabbed his arm before he could walk away and just kinda... well... bitched at him for a bit, telling him to go to class. He said he "didn't know" whether or not he would go to Science, but he would make sure to go to Math and Programming because I made him promise to.
I walked into Drama late and Mr.Mo asked why and I answered "I was convincing a friend to go to class." and he just replied "Ah, well you did your good deed for the day, then." and smiled. He told everyone that he'd be going up stairs to work on the play he's putting together (The Wiz), and that whoever wanted to come up to the caf to fold programs were welcome to. Everyone else had to stay in the class and work on the Scene Studies. Geoff and I stayed behind because he wasn't there the day before (Carl wasn't there [i]again[/i] today).
Steven opened the Drama door about ten minutes in and Erica ran and gave him a hug. He left and I stormed out after him to go yell at him for not going to Science. K, so I didn't yell, but I was pissed. I slammed the door shut and screamed when I went back into the class, and I'm pretty sure I scared everyone. Luckilly there was only about 8 people other than me in the class at the time. Mal and Greg snuck in and were like "We're going to hang out with you guys now!"
They decided they wanted to put on an Improv show for Geoff and I (Kelsey, who is in my class, joined them). They chose to start off with "Party Quirks" first. Geoff decided what quirk Mal would have, and I decided Greg's. She was suffering from hemeroids, and he was Golem drowning. XD! "OMG - LOOK SHE'S SCRATCHING HERSELF!!!" Too damn funny! After that they played that "5 in, 5 out" game, with only two people. Hehe! Kelsey decided she just wanted to watch, and Molly joined our little audience. Their subject was "Female Anatomy" (brought to you by the surprisingly crazy, Geoffy!).
We spent the rest of the class just shitting around being stupid. Mal stole Geoff's wallet without him noticing. I wanted to steal his G1, but she didn't want me to have it so she put it in her back pocket... It looked like I was chasing her ass around the Drama room! HAHAHA!
Photography... URGH!!! Okay, I just had one picture to finish, and I was just like "Okay, no big deal.". Well, since it's the end of the year, things have been dissapearing from the Dark Room; so there was very minimal ammount of frames, and the squeeze-blow was no where to be found (that's what we call the little turkey-baster thing that we use to clean the dust off of the film).
Not only that, but some of the enlargers that used to work no longer do, so we have nearly half the number of enlargers than what we started with. *cough*WELFARE-SCHOOL*cou gh*. So I had this pretty shitty enlarger that was off on a slight angle. It was nearly impossible to use! Instead of having a switch you click on and off to control the light, you had one of those little rotating clicky-things that are on lamps. Now, those are hard to use if you're in a rush! (I'll get back to that...).
Okay, so the actual project was to get a picture of someone (a picture of a person works best, apparently), and put it in the enlarger and just go along like it's a normal photograph. Then you put it in the developer, then the stop bath, then you bring it BACK to the enlarger and put it under direct light (no film in the enlarger) for 1-2 seconds and then develop and fix it like a normal picture. This is called "solarizing" because it makes it look like the sun was really fucked up the day you took the picture. Sounds fun? Urgh...
I couldn't seem to get it right. I'd either not leave the photo paper under the enlarger long [i]enough[/i], or I'd leave it under [i]too[/i] long! Now, here's where the clicky-light switch comes in... THAT THING IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DO QUICKLY!!! Ms.Coleman said "leave it under direct light for 1-2 seconds only" for a reason! 3 seconds is apparently [i]too much[/i]. I couldn't click it on, then off fast enough!
I wasted 9 full sheets of photo paper attempting to do that project, and I still have nothing to hand in. It was due today. I left the Dark Room in a huff. It was now half way through the next period, but I was going to skip Biology anyways. Greg's in my Photography class, and he skipped about a quarter of his next class; so at least I wasn't alone. Hehe, we sang songs off of the Simpsons! XD. "...I could even eat a ba-aby dear! Fa la la la laaaa la-laaaa!"
I went to go get my bag from the classroom... Nope, not gonna happen. She went [i]home[/i], and locked the classroom doors... WITH MY BAG INSIDE! I was praying on a last hope that she didn't go home (even though I assumed she did anyways), so I lay on the bench in front of the class for the rest of the period and waited to see if she would come back. She didn't. *screams into a pillow*
School ended, and I started freaking out at Geoff, Erica and Greg (Erica and Geoff's lockers are right in front of the class, and Greg was there to finish off his project). I told them I was going home, and that if she [i]were[/i] to come back, or if someone was to open the door, to grab my bag and put it in their locker. I didn't feel like walking all the way over to my locker, so I got Erica to put my photopaper and film in hers and stormed out of the building.
I then got even more pissed, when I realised I forgot to grab bus tickets on my way out the door this morning. I know a 15 minute walk won't kill me, infact it'd probably be good for me, but I was just so tired and pissed. I walked all the way home with my hands clenched into fists. By the time I actually reached my house I was more or less okay, still mad, but not flaming.
I am absolutly drained. And I [i]reak[/i] of developer! Yummy...
Becky finally signed on last night! Woohoo! So the four of us (being Becky, Grant, Dan and I) all got into one chat room and started discussing possible plans for the Tim Burton Marathon. We got sidetracked and now instead Becky and Grant are coming to the False Reaction show this Saturday and the marathon has been rescheduled for next week. I told Jade this morning and she was pleased. We still don't know if Adam will be going - same with Dan. I don't think Dan will, though, because I warned him that Jade will more than likely try and kick his ass.
Ancient Civs was funny - we got to watch sex scenes and violent fights all class. Roxanne and Ryan were using those scenes to show how Roman entertainment is still a lot like todays. Ya, okay. Well, it was fun, so I'm not complaining.
Jade had mentioned earlier that she wanted to talk to me, so I skipped Math. She told me about it, but I don't remember what it was, so it obviously wasn't a big deal. Mal was looking for her friend Sean the entire time outside (so we were out freezing our asses off) because he said he'd visit Merivale today.
Cancelled classes are fun; my English teacher was on a field trip, so I had two free classes in a row, then lunch. Score! I don't remember what I did, though... Meh. I think I fell asleep in the basement. Whatever.
Mal and I went back outside during lunch and randomly crossed streets and talked to people at bus stops, waiting for her friend Sean to show up. He never did, though - so she was kinda pissed.
Everyone in the basement randomly started talking about seeing a movie later tonight at around 7. They wanted to see "Girl Next Door"; I'm really not into those kinds of movies, but I wanted to go for the social aspect of it.
Staci came to Careers for the first time in a while, so I was happy. We had to write ten things we had to do before tomorrow at lunch, which was actually an interesting project. I noticed my list was mostly "Finalize plans with so'n'so before such'n'such a date.". I'm glad I'm becoming more social; it beats sitting at home in front of my computer being bored out of my skull, that's for sure.
Today in Drama, Mr.Mo finally told us what play's we're in and who's in our groups. I got my first choice, "Moo". Moo is a woman who was shot in the head and lives in the insane asylum because she thinks that her brother is her husband. I will be playing Moo (seeing as I'm the only girl in my group, and the doctor and the "husband" are guys). Oh, yes, by the way - Geoff and Carl are in my group. I can picture Carl being the doctor [i]so[/i] perfectly. Neither of them were there, so I had to basically go over the play all by myself. So pathetic... Then Molly and Erica decided to cast me as the one missing character from their play; I'd only have one line, but it was a monologe almost! I was just like "You [i]do[/i] know that I have my own play to put on, [i]right[/i]?" ^^' I don't think I'll do it.
I managed to get both of my double-exposure pictures done for Photography. I just have the solarizing one to do (which I can do in class tomorrow, since they're due at the end of the period) and I'm good. Hehe, my double-exposure pics came out really well. You take pictures, then roll the film back in your camera and take pictures over the ones you just took, and they look really funky. One picture was of the stairwell in the back of the school and ontop of it was the side of Kris's head, showing off her thousands of earings. The other was of the outside the South side of the school, with a pictures of the lockers inside ontop. I thought that one was really funky, because it shows both inside and outside of the school in one photo. Hehe!
I [i]still[/i] smell like developer!
The first thing I did when I got home was ask my dad if I could go with my friends to the movie. He replied the exact way I thought he would, "No - it's a school night". Fucker. I just talked to my mom, and I talked her into letting me go, she just needs to talk to my dad about it now. *crosses fingers*
Tim Burton Marathon (part 2) / first day back after easter break
Yesterday I went over to Andrew's house for the second half of our Tim Burton marathon. I, of course, supplied the movies (again). I brought BeetleJuice and Sleepy Hollow this time (last time it was Nightmare Before Christmas and Edward Scissorhands).
It was Andrew and Katie (of course), Mal, Chris, Steven, Mandy, Erica, Greg, and I. We were waiting for Greg, but got impatient and started watching BeetleJuice without him. He came part way through, so it was all good. Steven also brought lighter fluid, so my NBC zippo has at least a little bit in it - IT BURNS!!! *evil psychotic laughter*
While we were watching the movie, Andrew decided that he was going to lie down, and he just happened to decide on resting his head on my shoulder. I was okay for a minute, but then he moved his hand so it was touching my leg and I just got up and left the room. Him being so close to me was just too much for me to handle because of what hapened on Thursday night.
It was so weird, because he's done things like that before, some things even worse than that, and it never bugged me. I guess it was just the whole thought of "If I trusted Dan and he did that, then what makes me think I can trust [i]any[/i] of my guy friends?". Which is a really shitty feeling when most of your friends are male! I mean, I know that I said I forgave Dan, but that doesn't mean it never happened. And I obviously can't pretend like it never did, because I can't forget.
I went into the basement and cried for a few minutes before Mandy and Mal came down to see where I was / how I was doing. Mal left to tell everyone that I was still there (they thought I had gone home), but Mandy stayed behind and talked to me. She too left after a while and I just lay on the couch alone.
Mal came back to the basement and challenged me to a game of pool (since we're so [i]equally matched[/i] XP). I don't remember who won each time, but we played more than once. Better yet, we played "pool" without the cues - instead we just whipped the cue ball across the table. Much easier for the both of us, who apparently have two left hands when it comes to that game! It got a lot of my rage out - Mal screamed a couple times because I cracked them so hard against each other. *is proud*. I'm really glad we got to spend that time together, though, because we haven't done anything like that in weeks.
She managed to talk me into going back upstairs. Sleepy Hollow had just started when we got into the living room, so it was still good. I had to sit on the little step-thingie because all the couches were taken... Phooie. I was still shaken, especially since I was now back into a room with a lot of guys.
Steven came up to me to see how I was and gave me a hug and said "If you ever need a hug from someone who won't hurt you, you can come to me." I guess it made me feel a [i]little[/i] better, but I couldn't help but find the comment ironic...
Once Sleepy Hollow ended I went back into the basment because everyone wanted to put in Batman, but I never really cared for it. So instead I went on MSN and bugged people pointlessly. Fun stuff. Somehow everyone ended up in the basement playing pool and Katie was dared to kiss Greg. Hahaha! She didn't - boo!
Blah blah blah, shit happened that I can't remember because I have the memory span of a goldfish, blah blah blah and we had to go home. Now THAT was fun! Yes, going home was fun! Steven and I caught a bus and got to South Keys station and he decided to walk me to my stop to wait with me for the 116 to get to Baseline. We saw it drive by as we were walking up the stairs and I was like "Eh, I don't feel like running... I'll catch the next one in 30 minutes." ...Well, it was a holiday, meaning the 116 only came every hour. O.O Yes, I'm a smart cookie!
I think it was a good thing I missed the first one, because Greg walked up to the stop just after the bus left. We decided that since we had an hour (and that Steven's bus came every 15 minutes anyways) we'd all go to McDicks in the Walmart across the street. STEVEN STOLE MY FIVE DOLLARS!!! He owes me the change! I didn't realise it until after I had gotten home that those fries were the first thing I ate all day; and I [i]still[/i] wasn't hungry.
Immediately after Steven left to catch his bus, Kayla popped out of nowhere! She was supposed to go to Andrew's with us, but... I don't recall why she didn't. But anyways! We helped her pick out these really snazzy sunglasses, then she walked us back to South Keys station. Greg and I were on the bus for about 45 minutes and there wasn't a second of "awkward silence". He is so much fun to talk to!
I saw Andrea at Baseline while I was waiting for the 111. I wasn't surprised to see her there; it seems like whenever I'm at Baseline, she is too. But that's because she's a Rideau-rat, and probably lives near me; so it all makes sense. (I don't know [i]why[/i] I just wrote a paragraph about that...).
So ya, I get home and there's something funky going on with my computer, so I wasn't allowed to go on it (that's why I didn't update my blog last night). Steph was kind enough to let me use hers for the night, so I at least got MSN.
Grant and I started talking about movies 'n such, and he mentioned Dogma. I said I never saw it, but heard it was really good. Long story short, I'm going to go to his house on Friday to watch it. *dances* I was actually quite shocked (not in a bad way!) because we haven't even known each other for a week. Well, it's not like he's my boyfriend or anything - yeesh, even I wouldn't go for that! I need to get to know him more first. ^^
It was then that he decided to tell me that he had been reading my blog, which I kind of figured he was anyways. He also sent me the conversation that he and Dan had. Dan had some interesting things to say about me...
I started yelling at him about all the shit he was feeding Grant. It's so stupid, he's trying to make up an excuse for the way he acted that night. First it was "I miss sex!", then it was "I'm clingy after midnight!", and THEN it was just a joke gone wrong - and now it was for [i]my own good[/i]??? I'm sorry bud, no. No it wasn't!
How can it have been for my own good if I was afraid to [i]hug[/i] my own friends? Geoff made me feel a thousand times better about it, so now I'm more or less okay in regards to them. Well, our convo went sort of like this:
[b]Geoff:[/b] You aren't afraid to hug me, right? [b]Sarah:[/b] Not really, because I know you better than to do something like that. [b]Geoff: [/b]Good, because you know I love you too much to do anything to hurt you.
(Love as in friendship, that is) Then I realised that what he said could go for any one of my male friends I see on a daily basis. I mean, if they were going to try and pull anything like Dan did, wouldn't they have already? When I saw him at school today I gave him a big hug to show him that I was thankful. He has really been there for me, and I'm lucky to have him as a friend.
I never did get to sleep last night. I may have drifted in and out from 4am to 6am, but that's at most.
Even though I was running on empty, I was still booming with energy today. I was just in this amazing mood, which was really refreshing because I absolutly [i]hate[/i] being depressed all the time.
Nothing extremely entertaining happened in my morning classes today... Oh wait! We started watching the Macbeth movie in English today. I got so pissed off at Ms.Morris whenever she'd stop it to explain something! Yes, I know I'm selfish and I don't care if anyone else doesn't understand it because I do, and I'd rather not have my movie interrupted every three minutes! If they can't understand Shakespeare, it's their own fault and she should fail them. Okay, so I'm not[i] that[/i] cruel, but I was peeved.
Lunch was pretty uneventful, too. 'Cept everyone was laughing at me because I was so hyper and tired at the same time. I had a guidance appointment for the beginning of Bio to plan out what courses I'd be taking next year. Mrs.Dickson explained that Merivale won't be offering Reach Ahead for grade 12 English, but she'll let me know if the Catholic school board will be. O.O Me? In a Catholic school for the summer? [i]HA![/i]
I'll be good, I swear! :twisted:
She wouldn't let me drop Bio, though. Biiiiiitch. Oh well, it made sense, though. Only grads can drop a course if they don't need it to graduate. I think I'm gonna skip the rest of the year and hope they don't care. Chances are they will and I'll get suspended, but I don't care anymore. I know I can't pass it anyways, so I don't see the point in going to the friggin class.
Today my Drama class found out that I need glasses in order to read. Damn my farsightedness! We were picking out which plays we'd like to do for our scene study on; my top three are "Moo", "7 Stories" and "Problem Child". Any of the three would be fun, because they're all twisted and messed up in some way.
I am so tired - I just want to go to sleep! But I can't because I need to talk to Becky if we're going to be planning that Tim Burton marathon (yes, she wants to hold one now, too! XD). I actually have a few plans that could work out, but we need to talk over them first. But she's never home anymore! I lost my MSN chat buddy *sniffs*.
Could this be true? A happy post made by moi? *gasps*
Omg - let's just say I'm doing MUCH better than before! Mal and Geoff got back together and I was like "OMG!!! YAY!!!" and I was giddy. They make, like, the cutest couple, and it was only a matter of time before they got back together... And boy, they sure did take their time! I hope everything works out beautifully for them both! *love*
So, in other news, I decided to unblock Dan tonight, and we started talking and we sorted everything out. I told him (very stricktly) where my boarders lie, and he's going to make a point to never cross them ever again. And if he does *punches fist* lol! So, to all my friends, please don't start planning his murder... Thanks. XP
Then he decided to tell me that he and Becky are now dating and I was just like O.O "OMG!!! EVEN MORE YAY!!!" Dude - I never even knew that they had a crush on each other! Awww!!! Now I feel bad for bitching about him to her! Oh well, lol! But yes, they make quite the cute couple. And, now since he lives so close to me, I can see Becky more!
*dances around all crazy-like* This is so great, everyone seems to be much happier! Even me...
*ahem*
Ya, I think I'm starting to get a crush on someone... XD! I mean, I hardly know anything about him, and I've only met him [i]once[/i] before (and we haven't talked since) but I can't seem to get him out of my head! I'm getting the same feeling I got before I fell hard for Jon, and Tom, and *ahem* Steven. It's the whole "butterflies in my stomach", "randomly laughing and smiling", "can't stop thinking about him" sort of thing...
But, like I said, I hardly know him... But as soon as he walked into the room I got that feeling. I seem to work like that, though - that's exactly what happened with everyone else. Mind you, I only managed to find someone who liked me back enough to go out with me once. There lies the other problem; I don't know if he even likes me back / cares that I exist. I just... I need to talk to him again! Ahh! *dies*
That's enough of my happy post. I needed to talk about all the great things that have completely turned everything around since my last blog!
[b][u]PS[/u]:[/b] Speaking of great things... Yesterday (the 10th, because it's now nearly 3am on the 11th) was Kelsey's 17th birthday - so... HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELSEY!!! *love*love*love*
Yesterday at about 7:15 Steven called me. I was happy to hear from him, because I was planning on calling him at 9pm (I didn't know when he'd get back from the hospital). His surgery went well, he's a little sore, but that's expected. ...It's finally gone. It's all over.
I decided, that since I had time, I'd pop by and visit him for a couple minutes before I went to Dan's. I gave him hugs from everyone in my family, and I got to see where they cut him open (again); only it was covered in gauze. I also got to poke his shoulder bone, and the plastic tube was gone. He's normal again! ^^
I didn't stay long, and went to Dan's - and Becky was already there. The first thing I did was tackle her. lol! We just hung out in the basement on the porno-bed (it had a tiger-striped blanket!) as people slowly came. I think we emotionally scarred Grant for life, though. He was sitting on the bed with us because it was his "chair" for is computer, therefore we bugged him the most. Becky and I just talked about porn and lesbian sex just to creep the hell out of everyone else. It seemed to work. Then it backfired and the guys (since they were [i]all[/i] guys - 'cept us two and Becky's friend Lauren... there was 11 people there in total) seemed to enjoy listening to us.
We actually managed to "steal the show" for a little while there. It was supposed to be a LAN party; meaning they get together and network all their computers together and play games all night. But instead of playing games, they were too busy laughing at us.
And dude, I met Sophie's male twin - Mike looks [i]exactly[/i] like her, only he has longer hair! It was scary! And he acts a lot like Braden and Tom, so it was even [i]more[/i] freakish! He was that entire group squished into one, I swear!
Since all the computers were already in the basement... we were just like "DAN!!! SHOW US YOUR PORN!!!" and we bugged him for about an hour until he showed us some of his lesbian hentai. We spent the entire time laughing our asses off at it, it was [i]soooo[/i] bad! Like, when they were kissing, you watched their tongues do "the wave". Aw man, [i]too funny[/i]!
Becky and I decided to take a "walk" (ie, go to the park to drink and smoke). We had to try and get the bottles open on the play structure's side pannels, because she didn't have a bottle opener. It worked just the same, but I managed to spill half into the sand as I tried opening it! Oh well. It was different, because I've drank before, but not much so I'm a "light-weight" - and I also never drank beer before (I've tried it, but never actually drank a bottle of it). Well, I wasn't drunk, but it didn't help my hyperness. The swings were fun, though! I was just swinging back and forth staring up at the stars... I think that's when I broke my ring. Hahaha!
When we went back into the house everyone was like "Welcome back! It was too quiet without you guys!" LMAO!!!
Some of the guys went out to pick up the pizza, and came back shortly after we got in. They also got doughnuts, and I split one with Dan because I didn't want a whole one, and "all the good ones were taken". I had an incredibly small piece of cheese pizza just because I knew that someone would kill me if I didn't eat.
Omg, after I was done eating I was lying on the couch with my legs over Becky's lap, and Dan was sitting on my stomach; and I reached behind me and grabbed a small travel version of Connect Four. I just yelled out "OMG, I AM [i]SO[/i] BLACK!" and everyone doubled over laughing! Good times!
10:30 rolled around, and I begged Becky and Lauren to stay... But alas, they couldn't. *sobs*
K, let me see if I can remember everyone's names that walked Becky and Lauren to Baseline... There was me (of course), Dan, Grant, Trevor, and Adam. The walk was a little while, so I jumped from talking to Grant to Becky (who was talking with Trev. Haha, she thinks he's hot! XD). Grant's great, because he dresses like Dan (only with a better trench) but he has red hair (natural). He was probably the only "cute" guy there (in my opinion)...
While we were waiting for the bus to come, I managed to steal Geoff's necklace back from Becky. She stole it from him like, two weeks ago, and didn't want to give it back. So, I took it right off of her neck and put it on and she faught for it, but then forgot. Yes, so Geoff, if you read this, I have your necklace! LOL!
The guys wanted to leave Baseline before the bus came, so I went with them just because I knew I'd get lost if I didn't go then. *sniffs* Why did you leave me??? (hehe!).
Once we were on the path again they were like "LET'S RUN!!!" and sprinted down out of view. I was just like "tum tee tum..." and I started to walk incredibly slowly as they waited by the lamp post up ahead for me. It was too funny because I could hear them going "Omg, she's doing that on purpose!" XD! Grant came back and walked slowly with me, then Dan joined. Once we caught up with the group I walked normally again.
Damnit, Jade - she got "This Love" by Maroon 5 stuck in my head for all eternity - I have been singing it in my head for the past few days. So, I actually started to dance while we walked back and whisper the words to myself. Oh yes, I looked sane. *rolls eyes*
"Watch out, there are random poles sticking out of the ground in this field..." *TING* "...Like right there."
I went back to my lying position on the couch, and Dan sat on me again. Then he asked me if I wanted to go into his room and I just laughed, because I thought he was joking... But then he kept pressing on and I was just like "Omg... You're serious, aren't you?". He just replied "Well, I miss sex." I didn't know if I should cry, scream, laugh or RUN! Omg... He wouldn't stop - he started [i]begging[/i] me! I don't know if he noticed, but I started shaking like crazy - there was [i]no way[/i] I was going to have sex with him; but it seemed like he wasn't going to take "no" for an answer, and I got [i]really[/i] scared.
Thankfully, Trevor needed a ride home, and Dan needed to go so he could tell Grant how to get back to his house. I hoped he'd calm down in the car. I considered going home while he was gone, or calling someone; but by that time it was midnight and I didn't know who would have been up...
I actually ended up falling asleep around 1am for an hour or so, and woke up at 2:30. Louie brought Matrix Revolutions and we decided to watch it. Jake, Louie, Grant, Mike and the guy I never learnt the name of fell asleep instead; so it was just me, Dan and Adam who actually watched it. Out of us three, I was the only one who had seen it before.
Dan decided he wanted to "cuddle" on the couch as we watched the movie, but I was still on edge about what he had tried to do earlier... And he did it again. I told him to stop, but he didn't listen. I actually didn't even want him next to me on the couch, let alone with his head rested on my chest. He kept commenting on how fast my heart was beating - well of [i]COURSE[/i] it was beating fast, I was scared shitless!
You think you know a guy...
He started getting tired, and stopped begging (thank the Gods!), but he still wanted to be "close" to me... I wouldn't have minded so much if he hadn't of begged for sex before. I tried focusing on the movie instead of my own thoughts. It seemed to work.
The movie ended at about 5am, and I decided I'd go on MSN because Becky said she might be on late / early (depends on how you look at it). No Becky, but Colin was on, and I told him to go to bed. Then Dan and I just chatted back and forth since no one else was online. He started begging me to go back to the couch with him, and that he'd pull it down into a bed (it was a fouton) so we could go to sleep (yes, actual sleep). I didn't want to, but I did anyways because there was no other place to lie down.
I was seriously tired, but my adrenaline was pumping, so I was kept awake. I'm glad, too, because I wanted to stay awake until he fell asleep. It was very awkward, because he kept brining his face right up to mine, look at me, then move it away. I knew he wanted to kiss me, because he told me he did. He actually kissed my cheek a couple times, and the corner of my mouth only because I moved my head. He even crawled right up ontop of me a couple times, but each time he did I'd push him off - he would also try and put his hand up my shirt and pull me closer to him and I'd try to push away...
I seriously don't know what was wrong with him, he was acting fine before... I mean, he's always made comments about how he's always wondered what I'd be like, but I guess tonight was his first chance to try and find out... It was like I didn't even know who he was anymore!
Eventually Dan asked me what I was thinking, and I chose that oportunity to change the subject off of sex, and I mentioned that I visited Steven before going to his house (he didn't know yet). It kind of backfired in a way and I started crying. At least [i]then[/i] he was hugging me because I needed a shoulder, instead of because he wanted to fuck me.
Then we just got to talking about anything and everything, and ended up talking until 7am. He fell asleep with his head rested on me. I stayed up a bit longer than he did, then drifted in and out of sleep until about 10am. My arm was pinned underneath Dan's head when I woke up, and it took me about 20 minutes before I could get it out from under him.
I left at about 10:30am, and he was still asleep. I told Grant to tell him when he wakes up that I left. I didn't want to be there anymore, and the party was only until 11am anyways. I walked to Baseline alone, then jumped onto the 111 and here I am.
It's sometimes hard to write in my blog, because it means I have to relive moments in my head in order to type them out... I think this is one of those giant emotional scars that I'm going to hold with me for the rest of my life.
Why did he have to do that? I don't even know if I can even [i]talk[/i] to him anymore! I'm so lost. I don't know what to do...
This is going to be a VERY quick blog (for me, that is)...
I'm just gonna make this short, since I need to get ready for tonight!
Just a note before I start with my day - Steven got his port out today! YAY!!! I wanted to see him last night to give him a good-luck hug, but I couldn't. So I'm going to visit him sometime soon and see how he's doing (in all his port-less glory!). *dances*
[i]Ancient Civs[/i]: It was quite borring, we just took notes and shit like that. The student teacher taught us for the first time, so that was different. We got a new project, and I'm working with Bri; we're supposed to make an old Medieval artifact (more on that another day)
[i]Parenting[/i]: I learned how to save a baby from choking. It's good to know, because you never know what a baby may put in their mouth!
[i]Math[/i]: URGH!!! I had a math test today on everything they learned when I was gone. Well, I managed with what I knew - there was only one question I couldn't answer. I spent most of the time working on the two graphs, then rushed through the rest of the questions... But I'm pretty sure I still passed with a decent mark.
[i]Lunch[/i]: Pretty uneventful. Talked with Mal about stuff, and played Accordion some more (of course). I returned Mal's cards to her, and played with my own (so I had two decks on me all morning! haha).
[i]Photography[/i]: I finally got the film into the reel, so I was able to develop my film in class today (yay!). For the double-exposure pictures, I did kick-ass! They lined up! I was so happy! I hung up my film to dry and I shall finish my project (allong with the solar picture) next week (due on thurs! ahh!).
[i]Biology[/i]: I nearly skipped it, but decided since I haven't dropped it yet, I probably shouldn't. I'm glad I went because we watched The Magic School Bus instead of working, so s'all good! lol!
[i]Careers[/i]: Just took notes 'n shit. I actually participated in class. Then, after class was over, Mrs.Stephens asked how I was doing. I'm still gonna have to get used to this whole "she cares" thing... Hahaha!
Thus concludes my school day. Pretty uneventful - though, that's a good thing, because this was my fastest blog yet. Now, I must get prepared to go to Dan's later tonight. (I have so much stuff to do before I leave!). Becky's going to be there, so it'll be a lot of fun! YAY!!!
*runs off*
One more school day and then I can sleep in some more!
Last night I finally redownloaded Kazaa and Winamp (neither were working before). So I need some good songs to download and listen to! Could you guys either suggest things to me on MSN or just comment if you want. I need new music! lol!
Omg - cutest thing [i]ever[/i]! I woke up this morning, and Zeus (my cat) was curled up right against the back of my knees, sleeping! I was late for school because I stayed in bed for so long because didn't want to disturb his sleep! *glomps kitty* I love him [i]soooo[/i] much! XD
I started thinking about Atlantis today... Mainly because someone did a project on it in Ancient Civs. I'm beginning to wonder if it actually existed. [i]If[/i] it did, I know that I don't believe that it was sunk because the Gods got angry at their greed and lust for power. So, assuming it did exist, what really happened that destroied it so that it's now impossible to find? It's something I never really gave a second thought to - I just always assumed it never really existed, but that presentation was like "Well, what if?", so now I'm thinking "What if?"... lol - I need a hobby!
Shakespeare is my hero. That's all I have to say about English class. In Parenting I finally got to play that Accordion game that Mal and Jade are always playing. At first I was having trouble with it (the cards were being retarded!), but I eventually got the hang of it, and I'm not totally sucking anymore. *dances* I continued playing it into lunch then managed to borrow her cards for the rest of the day (only I forgot to ever give them back, so I still have them! woops!)
Geoff and I joked about how all the people who walked into Drama late were tard...y. "Take [i]this[/i] tard...y slip!" lol! In class we talked about the actual scene studies we're going to be doing for the next little while. He gave us some summaries of some of the different plays we can choose from. I don't think anything jumped out at me, but whatever. I'll have to look on Tuesday (we don't have class tomorrow, and no school on Friday or Monday! YEEEHAW!!!).
Photography class was another studio period, and I was about to go to the basement to continue playing cards (that's why I borrowed them for after lunch as well), but I went to my locker first and Kris crossed my path and I told her that I didn't know what to do for the project and she was like "I'll show you!". So I got my camera and we wandered the school while I took random pictures of things - like: the exit sign above a door, a heating vent, a plastic bag we (Erika joined us later) found and put on Kris's head (hahaha! "It smells like herpes!"), mine and Kris's feet, and the the fire drill switch thing. I took much more, but those are just some of the things I happened to remember.
We were [i]supposed[/i] to take pictures of practically anything, then reel the film back and take pictures on the same roll [i]again[/i] - thats why everything I was taking pictures of was so damn random. I usually put a lot of effort into my projects, I don't just go around school like that all the time! AHH!!! I take my Photography class seriously! ...I kind of have to, because if I don't my father, the retired professional photographer will have my ass for a hat! Hahaha - not really, he'd just be "dissapointed". Everything I do good, in the long run, is to make him proud.
I was trying to load my finished film (yes, I finished the roll! Go me!) into the canister so I could develop it next class, but the reel was giving me trouble, I think it was broken, so I sat there for ten minutes trying to get the film onto the god-damned reel but failed miserably. I ended up being late for Bio because I was [i]still[/i] trying to get that thing on! Ms.Coleman saw that I had done work, and, to my surprise, was acting like her old self, and not like a total bitch! *gasps*. I guess she just got mad at me for a while there because one of her best students started slacking, and now that I'm doing my work again, she's happy with me once again. She offered to try to get the film onto the roll herself, but I said I'd just try again next class.
She wrote me a note for Mr.Gibson (he wouldn't believe me if I walked in late and told him it was because I was working on a Photography assignment... ^^' oh what faith teachers have in me!) and I went to class.
I just sat there, knowing that there's no way I could pass that course. The main two chunks of the final grades are based on the exam and the pig disection... I haven't been paying enough attention to know anything on the exam, and I'll either throw up, faint, cry or all of the above if I have to even [i]look[/i] at that pig! I took the notes anyways, just so Mr.Gibson wouldn't point me out like he was with everyone else who wasn't writing the shit down.
Steph found me right after the bell rang and she was like "Sarah... What time is it?" and I was just like "Gee, Steph - school ends at 2:15. I wonder [i]what time could it be[/i]?" Fun stuff. Sarcasm is great. XP
Guess what... Jess talked to me again. Is she trying to get me to forgive her and be her friend again or what? If so, it's not going to work. She commented on my zippo while I was playing with it at the bus stop after school, then started talking to me about driving (because she knows I have my G1). It's so weird... Why would she want to be my friend? Hm... I think I'm catching on. I have my G1. The first thing she asked me was when I was going to be getting my G2. She wants me to drive her places! Fucking moocher. (Hahaha - I love jumping to conclusions. The outcomes are so damn funny sometimes!)
My mom commented on my good report card when I got home and I was just like "OMG YOU'VE LOST YOUR EYESIGHT, HAVEN'T YOU?!?!?!" lol. I suppose my marks aren't [i]that[/i] bad (the ones I'm passing, that is). Just, in comparison to my first term marks they're horrible. I should learn to not be so hard on myself.
Then my dad started talking to me... Unlike my mom who'd rather focus on the positive parts of my report card, he likes to focus on the negative. Hm... I now know [i]why[/i] I'm so hard on myself! I explained the whole "there's no freakin' way I'm going to pass Bio" situation, and he [i]actually[/i] understood! O.O! He actually approves of me dropping the course if they'll let me, just so long as I use my future spare to help bump up my Careers mark.
I don't know if my guidance councillor will let me drop Bio, though. I'll just explain to her that if she doesn't help me drop it, I'll "drop" it myself. After all, she can't really stop me from not going to class, and I have my dad's permission to drop the course - she should let me. I'm going to request an appointment with her tomorrow and we shall talk after the Easter break.
Random thought; the Easter break... I was talking to Annah on MSN - she's a friend of my sister's, as well as mine; and she lives in the UK (she lived in Canada for a couple years before moving back, she was in Steph's class while she was here). Anyways, their Easter break is [i]two weeks long[/i]! But, then again, that's because they don't get a March break like we do in Canada... Hehe, she's only on her 3rd day off, and she's already going insane with boredom. Aww... poor Annah! *hugs*
Bio is hopeless, but I'm going to try as hard as I possibly can to pass Careers - I don't want to fail that a second time! Besides, I already have to go to summer school for half the day, I don't want to have to go for the entire day! I talked it over with my dad, and I'm going to be taking grade 12 English in summer school and re-do Bio at an easier level. (Before I was just thinking that as an option, but now it's my plan). Also, Jeff (yes, Erica's ex), mentioned that he'd be taking grade 12 English in summer school, so I may just be in his class (he told me this [i]after[/i] I made the plan). So, at least I won't be alone.
Dad tried to fix Steph's burner before she left because I wanted to burn a CD, but he got preoccupied with something else. I took that time to teach Steph how to play Accordion, and now she's hooked too.
And ya, Steph is a total idiot. Today at dinner she brought up the topic of religion and beliefs with my parents. I know well enough [i]not[/i] to debate this with my Christian mother, and my atheist father - but I guess she didn't. It eventually turned into this huge fight about Steph getting offended because she thought they were "insulting" her beliefs, when all they were doing was telling her [i]why[/i] they believed what they did. They weren't even attacking her, they were just defending themselves and she got all huffy.
I tried to defend everyone at the same time while not brining up my own beliefs (that would only get everyone more angry) in an attempt to calm everyone down. I failed. When my dad gets pissed, he's [i]pissed[/i]. And you wouldn't believe it unless you know her, but Steph's quite the bitch when she's angry. My mom and I were just like "Oy... ^^'." I left even before the fighting was over.
Anyways, I gotta stop writing now. Simpsons is on, and I want to get off of my computer to play Accordion again (yes, I really am [i]that[/i] pathetic!). Later.
I'm running out of creative things to put in these titles...
*dies* we got our report cards today... Well, since I don't care if people know my grades, I'll just post them. I went down in all of my classes 'cept [i]one[/i]. (the first number is last term, the underlined number is [i]this[/i] term's mark)
[b]Drama:[/b] went from a 91 to an [u]87[/u] [b]Photography:[/b] went from a 96 to a [u]73[/u] [b]Civics:[/b] I passed with a [u]57[/u] [b]Ancient Civs:[/b] went from an 81 to a [u]73[/u] [b]English:[/b] went from a 72 to a [u]74[/u] [b]Careers:[/b] I have a [u]35[/u] [b]Parenting:[/b] went from an 83 to a [u]75[/u] [b]Math:[/b] went from an 89 to an [u]82[/u] [b]Biology:[/b] went from a 42 to a [u]33[/u]
I'm very dissapointed with myself. My Photography mark dropped [i]soooo [/i]drastically! And I'm not passing Careers [i]or[/i] Biology (is that a surprise?) and I [i]need[/i] those credits or I don't graduate! Ya, I need a tech / science credit, and Careers is just manditory.
I'm thinking that if I don't pass Bio (which I won't) I'll take grade 12 English in summer school, then take grade 11 Bio (only [i]college level[/i] this time, I'm not going back to uni! *dies*). That's only because gr.11 Bio isn't offered in summer school at the college level, just at uni. FUCK THAT! Hahaha! Besides, it would be nice to get English out of the way forever! Muahahahaha!
And, this may sound crazy, but I want to push up my math mark (yes, I [i]AM[/i] aware that I stand with an 82). But, if you think about it, last term I almost had a 90! I [i]can[/i] do better - so I will! I'm going to apply myself more in all of my classes. I've been slacking too much lately. Gotta get cracking! I've got my entire future ahead of me!
So yes, as usual, I will talk about my day now!
Okay so these girls who think they know everything presented their project in Ancient Civs today. Well, it's not they think they know everything, but they just know that they're smarter than everyone else. Like, they're the type of people who complain when they get 80% on a test (shut up - my math marks are different!). Anyways, yes, they bug me.
Brianne convinced me to skip math with her if Dawn wouldn't skip with her. She did, but since Bri did such a good job of convincing me to skip, I didn't want to go to class anymore. Jade and Mal talked be[i] back[/i] into going to class. Blarg. I could have gotten away with it, too, because we had a supply teacher! Actually, now that I think about it, I technically didn't skip any classes today. I'm proud.
I really like the plot so far in Macbeth. It's a good play. Well, I just love Shakespeare - everything he does (that I've read so far) is brilliant. ...I wanna watch 10 Things I Hate About You now! lol!
Lunch was uneventful - I got kind of depressed and just lay down by myself again. No one noticed, but whatever. Y'know, it'd be nice if someone just came up to me and kept me company when I go off on my own like that. The [i]reason[/i] I go off on my own is usually because I either feel left out or ignored. (Hey, maybe I should start making up stories about my "past" to get your attention instead! Yes, because that's a [i]wonderful[/i] idea! ...arg.)
Mrs.Stephens didn't even say anything to me today about my project - I guess she just assumed I wouldn't have it done. ...Which I didn't. It just made me feel like she didn't have any faith in me. Eh, with reason, I suppose. I really need to focus in that class if I ever want to pass it!
I finally did my little drama preformance today. I was at the point where I had everyone [i]elses[/i] lines memorised, so I was pretty confident with my own while up there.
I spent most of my Photography class hanging out with Chris and Greg (it was another studio period). Andrew joined us later in the period, and the four of us just sat on the stage in the caf and talked about whatever. It was fun just being able to do something that random... again. Hahaha.
"I could have eaten a box of Alphabits and crapped a better interview!" (sorry, I'm watching TV).
Okay, considering I'm falling asleep at my computer now, I'm gonna stop writing! lol!
Okay, so I've put a few surveys about myself up, so today I decided to be different! [i]You[/i] have to answer questions about [i]me[/i] (yay!). I stole this from... Oh geez, I don't know. I just randomly found it in someones LJ. Hahaha!
Put your answers in the comment box thingie. Please do this, I don't want to look silly by putting it up and having no one fill it in! lol! (And, if you post it in your blog / livejournal, I'll fill it in about you in return :wink: )
1. My name: 2. Where did we meet?: 3. Take a stab at my middle name: 4. How long have you known me?: 5. How well do you know me?: 6. Do I believe in God?: 7. When you first saw me what was your impression?: 8. My age: 9. Birthday: 10. Color hair: 11. Color eyes: 12. Do I have any siblings?: 13a. (If opposite sex) Have you ever had a crush on me?: 13b. (If same sex) Have you ever been jealous of me?: 14. What's one of my favorite things to do?: 15. What's my favorite type of music?: 16. What is the best feature about me?: 17. Am I shy or outgoing?: 18. Would you say I am funny?: 19. Would you consider me a friend?: 20. Would you call me preppy, a homie, average, sporty, punk, hippie, skater, glam, nerdy, goth, snobby, or something else?: 21. Am I a virgin?:
Aw fuckies - I'm gonna have to do this three more times, aren't I?
K, you remember how I said that Friday felt like Monday? Well, today, Monday felt like Friday - or, rather, I [i]wished[/i] it was. It's a good thing it's gonna be a 4-day week only!
Dude, speaking of this upcoming Friday, I may already have plans (depends on what else may come up). Dan's throwing this little party thing with all of his friends and he wants me to go. So, if I do, I'll meet this Jake person I had that religious debate with. It could be interesting. I haven't seen Dan in the longest time, too - he hasn't even seen my new hair colour yet! Well, I guess that happens when you go to different schools.
Aw man, we're getting the [i]real[/i] mechanical baby soon... We had a presentation done by a voulenteer about how to take care of them. This time, we won't have a key to make it stop crying, we actually have to care for it! By either: a) giving it a bottle, b) changing its diaper, c) rocking it, or d) burping it. Then she went and told us that sometimes it just cries for the sake of crying! I'm not going to get a wink of sleep! *faints*
Math was quite dull; I sat down to to my work with my text book open and I just stared at the page. I was convinced that he had assigned us the wrong page, because it was talking about graphs and the y-axis all this shit. I mean, sure, I've taken it before so I know the stuff, but I didn't even know that was going to be included while learning about FINANCES!!! Arg... And, well, English isn't worth writing about (oy, when is it?).
There's this new / old guy in our little "group" now. He's new, because I've never met him before, but he's old because he was there way before I was but left and just got back from Australia recently. Gavin's his friend, and he went around introducing him to everyone new in the lunch crowd. He got to me and was just like "This is Sarah - she's the cool one. Well, I don't know how to introduce her..." And I was like "I'm the freaky psycho girl who sits off in the corner and eventually goes crazy and shoots everyone in the school!" all cheery-like and Gavin gave me a high five and was like "Yeah!" Hahaha, that kid's great.
Jade and Mal just spent the time he (the new / old kid - I think his name is Jake) was there because they thought he was hot and openly admitted it to him. I admired their courage. I'd never walk up to a guy and be like "YOU'RE HOT! DO ME!!!" like SOMEONE I know *looks at Jade* hahaha! ...I don't think I'd even have the thoughts in my head, actually. So, it's not so much I'm holding myself back in the sense I wont [i]admit[/i] it, it's that I'm holding myself back from actually [i]thinking[/i] it. I'm just so used to not looking because of Steven that I just no longer notice. I dunno, I never really did look, even before Steven came around. I guess I haven't really been one to "check out" guys. I really [i]do[/i] go more for personality; but I do have my preferences - I'm not [i]too[/i] picky. I feel I have to know someone before I'll find them attractive in any way. That's just how I work. But, usually, when I get to know them well enough to be attracted to them, I fall head over heals and it takes me [i]forever[/i] to get over them!
With girls it's completely different. Because I'm always looking for a relationship with guys, but since I'm not with girls I feel like I can just look without worrying about anything. I'll never actually date a female, I just find them very attractive physically. I just can't connect with them on a stronger level than friendship. With guys I can, and that's why I look for relationships with them, as opposed to girls. With them, it's all pysical, so I am quite picky when it comes to who I think is attractive and who isn't - but I'll be friends with a girl with any body type. Ahh! I'm even starting to confuse [i]myself[/i]!
...I'm done, I swear!
I actually got to hang out with Mal during lunch and just talked with her, which I haven't been able to do for a while now. I [i]really[/i] missed talking to her!
Jade wasn't going to go to Bio, and I decided to skip with her, but somewhere between the end of lunch and when the late-bell went for class, she dissapeared. I didn't really care, and I just kind of sat alone in the basement. I was randomly writing things down on a piece of paper; paragraphs of what I've been feeling lately, kind of like personal quotes, if you will. Here, I'll type up a few of them:
"[i]I'm constantly reminded that you aren't worth my tears; but you still own my very soul - so every tear is already yours[/i]."
"[i]There is no manual for leading the perfect life; that would take away all the adventure. But, then again, it would also take away all the pain[/i]."
"[i]I cry now so that one day my soul will be free[/i]."
I wrote 8 of them, but those are the only ones worth sharing. The rest are either [i]too[/i] personal, or just down right dumb. I personally like the very first one the most. It's artistic at the same time as it is depressing. Hahaha, that reminds me of my friend Jon's MSN name "Those words, at best, were worse than teenage poetry." I think it's from a song, because he has a music note before it, but w/e. Still funny none the less!
I lay down and rested a bit before the class ended; Jade popped up and was like "Sarah! Where'd you go?" And I was just like "Where did [i]I[/i] go?" lol! I headed off to Careers after. I asked Mrs.Stephens if I could go into the hall and just sit because I wasn't feeling up to doing anything. She said no, and made me rate the presentations. Tomorrow I either present or fail. I need to actually do my project or I have to repeat Careers [i]again[/i]. *curses under breath*.
Mrs.Stephens called me over after everyone was done presenting (class wasn't over yet, so I was off in the corner memorizing my lines for drama class). She asked me where I was the last class when I had walked out. I explained that I left and sat in the hall to cry, and she is actually very nice. I mean, she told me everything I've heard about a zillion times about needing help and that it's not good to bottle things up, blah blah blah, talk to the guidance councillor, all that jazz, and I just briefly explained my previous situation about them not doing dick all to help me. Then she told me that if I ever needed to talk she'd listen and I was like "O.O You [i]care[/i]???". You learn something new every day, I guess...
I left the class rather quickly after the bell rang, because I started crying again. I waited in front of my drama class (I had that next) for [i]anyone[/i] to walk by. I just needed a hug... It just so happened that Steven was the first person to walk by. He of course gave me a hug, and I told him what Mrs.Stephen's had said. He comforted me a bit, and that was really nice... At that point I was only [i]half[/i] crying about what had happend before. I can't help it... I just miss him so much.
Drama was generally borring; I had all of my lines memorised even before I went over them in Careers (I was just making sure I knew them); and I didn't even present today. So, whatever.
Omg - Jess talked to me after school today. O.O! I was walking past her locker (I have to in order to get out of the school) and she's just like "Hey Sarah! Are you going on the Stratford trip?" And I said no and she replied "Oh you should - it's fun!" And I just kept walking. I have no idea [i]why[/i] she decided to talk to me, either...
Right now I'm taking a total mental-vacation. I'm going back in time to when I was in BC over the summer. I'm listening to Finger Eleven's 3rd CD. It just came out before I went on the trip, and Steven got it for me for our 6 month anniversary (I left the DAY AFTER our anniversary! That was FUN! *sarcastic*) and I listened to it over and over again during the entire trip. Now, whenever I listen to this CD, it reminds me of Whistler, Vancouver and Victoria. It's crazy, I have a strong ear when it comes to the song "One Thing"; I can hear it if it's playing quietly in a loud room - and no matter what's going on, my mind travels back to Whistler. The entire time I was in Whistler I was off in my own little world, listening to the CD [i]CONTSTANTLY[/i]. No wonder I was so at peace with myself there... It was just me and the mountain. It was perfect.
Aaaaaaand MSN just kicked me off. Perfect. Eh, I'll go watch Simpsons, then.
This is the first family reunion that I DIDN'T enjoy!
My dad woke me up at the crack of 10am (but it felt like 9, because of the whole "spring-ahead" thing). We had to go to this family reunion for brunch (that's it, wake me up early on a Sunday, then shove food down my throat! GOOD MORNING! urg...).
It was an all-you-can-eat buffet thing, and I actually ate [i]all I could eat[/i] - hardly anything. Ignoring the fact that most of what they had served there was meat, and I'm a vegetarian, I wasn't hungry so I didn't eat much at all. The only option I had was potatoes and bread.
It was really weird; usually, no matter what kind of horrible mood I'm in, seeing my cousins usually cheers me up. They're like the brothers I never had (I have 10 male cousins - and only 2 female, one of which lives in Toronto, the other is much older than me and I don't talk to her. Then there's me and my sister, and that's the whole "cousin" part of my mom's half of the family.). Today, they didn't even talk to me, and I was sure that Peter, of all people, would at least say hi, but he didn't even do that! Even my fucking [i]family[/i] doesn't care that I exist!
I decided that I didn't want to be there anymore, and I got up and left to take a walk. I wandered around the halls a little bit, then sat down at a bench and looked out the window. I watched these two ducks walk around together, eating whatever they found off of the ground.
I saw all these guys in kilts walk into this one room, but didn't think much of it at that time. About ten minutes later, they started playing the bagpipes on and off, apparently practicing for a preformance they were going to give later on that day. I listened to them play for about an hour before my dad came and brought me back to the family.
I really love the bagpipes (half because I'm part Scottish, half because they just have a cool sound to them) so I've decided something. If / when I get married, I want to have bagpipes play at one point. I think it would be very cool.
Once I retuned, someone finaly started talking to me; my cousin Geoff. He [i]actually[/i] asked me where Steven was... Steph whispered something into his ear and he was like "Oh..." then turned to me and said "He's an ass." and put his thumb down and laughed. Right.
The only other cousin of mine to say anything to me was Kyle. Well, the only word he said was "Bye" when we were leaving. Although, him saying that was enough for me to pick up that his voice is starting to change. It's scary to think; he's just my [i]little[/i] cousin! His voice can't change [i]yet[/i]! *sighs* Everyone is growing up so much, and changing so drastically... I actually don't like it. I hate change - I don't adjust well, as I'm sure you've noticed.
To sum it up, I had a horrible time. I didn't even want to go in the first place, but I was forced to. Mom told me that if I didn't want to, I didn't have to go next time we have a "reunion" (I put quotes because reunions are usually annual, but we have 5 or 6 each year); even though I probably will. I'm assuming today was just a fluke.
Hahaha - I woke up this morning thinking "OW! MY PELVIC AREA!" But hey, at least I know I'm becoming regulated. Before, when I wasn't, I never used to have cramps, so I don't know if this is a fair trade... lol! I'd much rather be completely random and [i]crampless[/i] than know when to expect it every month, but [i]with[/i] cramps. I mean, I'm not having sex anymore, I don't have to worry about pregnancy scares! Damn this, why couldn't it have been the other way around? *sobs* That would have made my life [i]SO[/i] much easier!
Um... Enough about my constant [i]bleeding[/i]!
SO ANYWAYS!!! ...Ya, because of my constant pain, I was like "[i]Kill me now[/i]!" and Steph just laughed. Bitch. (lol! jk!). I looked in the cupboard for painkillers, but they were gone and Steph told me that my mom hid them so I wouldn't try to kill myself again. That was actually quite smart of her... IN THEORY! I needed those damn pills so I could walk properly without looking like a deformed duck! Steph made me hide in the bathroom as she got out the Ibuprophen (sp?). I wonder if mom'll try to hide all the steak knives next...?
Steph invited her little dorky friend Jenny over today, and I wanted to stab her in the face. I hate that little brat. All she does is complain. ...Shut up, I [i]so[/i] don't complain as much as her! I asked Steph to keep her out of my face, so I was good.
Today I watched That 70's Show and the Simpsons in the living room with my mom as opposed to alone in my room. *gasps*. "I'm not calling [i]you[/i] stupid - just everything you like!" Hahaha - priceless. Kelso is my hero! Steph and Jenny came down stairs and was like "Get out - we want to play DDR!" and I was like "Fuck you! Simpsons isn't over yet!" ...But I left anyways.
I watched Murder by Numbers in her room (only because I don't have a VCR in mine). I love that movie! For some reason, I seem to be the only one who actually likes it, though. Either people have never seen it before, or they don't like it. I don't know why! It doesn't make sense, because it kicks all ass! *cries* ...Yes.
Okay, so after I'm done watching the movie I go into my room and Steph is there with her shitty friend Jenny and they're watching Japanese-Anime music videos and I was just like "...What the hell? [i]GET OUT[/i]!" (litterally). I was so pissed! I asked her before I went to watch Murder by Numbers if I could use her TV, and she didn't even [i]bother[/i] to ask me if she could use my computer. K, the convo went like this:
[b]Sarah:[/b] What the hell? Get out of my room. [b]Steph:[/b] Ya ya ya, after these last three. [b]Sarah:[/b] No, get out - [i]NOW[/i]! [b]Steph:[/b] K, fine! Just let me finish this [i]one[/i]. [b]Sarah:[/b] NO! [i]NOW[/i]! Why didn't you even fucking [i]ask[/i] me if you could use my computer? [b]Steph:[/b] Oh, well if I had, you would have said no! [b]Sarah:[/b] Damn straight! [b]Steph:[/b] See, if I had've asked, we wouldn't have been able to watch them [i]at all[/i]. But since I didn't, we at least got to watch[i] some[/i]. *laughs* [b]Sarah:[/b] Bitch, get the fuck out. [b]Jenny:[/b] *stares at me like an ugly bug-eyed fish*
Then they left. It's amazing what people will do around a girl with PMS to make her snap...
Random Moment: Dude - I got my lava lamp up and working again! My mom got a new bulb the other day and I was like "Whee!" So I'm watching it now. Bloop... Bloop... Bloop... It's dancing!
I've been on Gaia ever since. And I wrote a post (in a thread called "What is your most painful memory?") that made me cry. I won't copy and paste it into here, because you probably don't care enough. Whatever.
So ya, I guess you can gather that I've had a pretty dull day. And to think, if Jade wasn't grounded, I could have gone to a show tonight! Arg.
Tomorrow's plans: Sit around the house watching TV eating ice cream out of the carton in sweatpants. That's what they should put on a commercial for pads / tampons - not girls white-water rafting! "Look at me - I don't have cramps and I'm not bitchy! No, never! I'm super fucking woman! Whee!" ...Fucking whore.
I want to go and do something tomorrow so it doesn't turn out like today. But, chances are, no one wants to hang out with a pissed off, bloated girl with cramps. Oooh, Monday should be FUN! -_-*
I need some more painkillers over here!
Um... Today felt like a Monday to me... ^^' But it's a good thing it wasn't!
My first class was so unbelievably boring. Sean presented his ISU project on castles, and I don't want to be mean, because he's my friend, but that guy cannot present well! He had too much information, but was too nervous to get it out properly. He talked way too fast, stuttered a lot and repeated himself over and over and over again! I didn't think anyone could make bloody war and battle put people to sleep, but he managed to! Anyways, I didn't start off well because I wanted to walk up in front of the class and take his over-sized cardboard castle and smack him over the head with it! ...*ahem*
I was still angry in Parenting, but I managed to swallow it a little and smile once in a while. Everyone kept telling me to shut up whenever I would go to talk to Steven; and it wasn't like I was talking too much or being too loud or anything. I'm pretty sure Mr.L could have still taught the class without all 100% of his students hanging off of every word. Yeesh.
My math teacher and I had a little debate over which form of interest was more used in certain areas (simple interest, or compound interest); well, it was more that I pointed out that compounded interest is everywhere and you hardly even see simple interest anymore, and he wanted to prove me wrong. He didn't. After that he started repeating himself again... The same lesson we've been going over for two weeks now! I hadn't been to a single math class all week until today, and I hadn't missed a thing! That should tell you something... So I fell asleep (actually unconcious) and woke up 5 minutes before the bell rang, as I always do.
I hung out with Gavin and... that guy... in my Photography class... whom I can't seem to remember the name of... BRET! It was very weird, because I've heard so many stories about him from the other girls in my class about how he harasses them; I think they may be over-reacting. I guess because they don't really know how guys act, since they're very girly. But he was "harassing / hitting on" me today and he was acting like all of my other guy friends. Honestly, it's not that big of a deal. Like, Gavin made a comment about his "sexy" ass (as a joke) and Bret just said "If I had a choice, I'd choose her ass rather than yours!" I can see how they'd over-react, but I guess it's just that I'm used to it. *shrugs* whatever. I hung out in the Drama room while they held a DC meeting.
Steven decided that he didn't "feel" like going to his Math class, and I actually got quite angry with him. I just kind of thought "fuck it" and went to Photography. Turned out we had a studio period (meaning we could leave the class to take pictures), so I returned to the basement to hang out with everyone skipping / [i]actually[/i] have spares. I just sat off to the side and didn't say anything.
I didn't want to go to Biology next, and neither did Jade so we just hung out with Chris and Colin. I got so mad at Colin today during those two classes. He was incredibly pissed off for some really stupid reason (something about Mandy and April fools - I don't want to go into needless details). He was taking it out on everyone around him and if anyone even just made a little joke he would give them the finger or tell them to "shut the fuck up". I started yelling at him for attacking everyone and he got even more angry. Great! Then he started going on a swearing rampage, and Jade got him to shut up. I'm in just a[i] peachy[/i] mood now! Only not...
Careers... I fucking hate that class! I think I'm going to cry just [i]thinking[/i] about it! Today I was supposed to present my project on UPEI. It was set up in stations, and the people who weren't presenting would go around to each station and learn about the University and then move on. Kind of stupid, but w/e. She forced me to "present" today, even though I told her I had nothing. I explained to the people who were at my "station" first the extremely horrible situation I was in with Staci never coming to class and not being able to work on it... Anyways, I don't want to go over that again, I talked about it a few blogs down.
I couldn't take it. I had to get out of that class. I just kept thinking about how much of a failure I was... I can't even pass that stupid class, even the [i]second[/i] time around! I just sat outside of the classroom and cried. I hated that I was sitting alone... I just wanted to talk to someone, but everyone was in class, and I didn't want to move from that spot just incase the teacher came out to talk to me. I knew that Chris would be in the basement, but I couldn't move; I didn't want to get into any more shit than I was already in.
She asked to talk to me after class (so, in theory, I could have left and just come back afterwards). She said that she'd give me a second chance to do the presentation on Tuesday, but if I didn't present it then, I'd get the mark I got today (and I have a rough idea of what that is...). But, my mark as it stands is in the 30's, so without this project, I fail a second time.
I went down to the basement after school (that was the last class) and Chris and Andrew walked up to me; and Andrew, being his usual cheery self, put his arm around my shoulders and started talking about how everyone was going to see Hellboy tomorrow. This wasn't a great thing, considering I was really pissed off and upset. I snapped at him to not touch me, then burst into tears (again). Chris offered a hug and I just cried on his shoulder. I didn't notice it then, but Andrew stormed off. Someone said "Someone go talk to him and tell him it's not his fault!" ...I felt so bad after I realised what I did. I didn't mean to!
It just seems that Chris is one of the only people left that I can go to when I'm upset, because all he does is offer a shoulder, and doesn't try to flood me with advice or try to "fix" the problem for me. I'm starting to feel bad about always running to him, though, because I'm sure it's not fun for him to have a depressed teenager sobbing about this or that all the time.
All of my friends have really been here for me lately. I just can't help but notice that it's mainly my male friends... Sure, most of my friends [i]are[/i] guys, but the few female friends I do have are starting to distance theirselves from me, it seems. I dunno, it may just be me going crazy, but I don't talk to them as much as I used to. I [i]try[/i] to talk to them; but they aren't around much anymore. Just today I was talking to Jade about how we don't talk as much as we used to, and even she agreed. I dunno, though - I prefer having more male friends than female, anyways. I just wish I was close with all of my friends equally.
Chris dissapeared after a little while, and Geoff and Andrew just talked to me about what was going on with my Careers class. They offered to actually help me work on my project (although I doubt I'll let them, unless I'm [i]incredibly[/i] desperate!). I managed to get myself together and went into the drama room and hung out with everyone while we waited for Lunchbox Theatre to start.
Ah, the skits were great! I was amazed with the acting, though. To be honest, I didn't expect so much talent from grade 9's and 10's! Gabby's acting is what [i]really[/i] blew me away, though. I never knew she had it in her! She was so natural up on stage, and you could hardly tell that she was acting. Everyone else was great, too, but I just really noticed her.
At the end of the show Debra was handing out flowers to everyone who was involved with Lunchbox. She had extras, and gave a broken one to me (the stem was bent in half). Colin wanted the stem, and I just wanted the flower; so I broke it in half and gave him the bottom. I also managed to yoink one of the many feathers involved in one of the performances. So I was walking around with a feather and a flower. Very out of character for me. Too girly! Ahh!
I got my mom to pick me up at school and drive me home. When I got in the car she handed me a package from Hong Kong... My Nightmare Before Christmas Zippo came in today!!! I was just like "Why did it have to come in on a [i]Friday[/i]???" For two reasons: one, I can't show people until Monday, and two, because it's not filled and I need to mooch fluid! Hahaha. Aw man, it's so snazzy... Yay.
...I'm done now.
*sighs* I need a reason to wake up in the morning...
I didn't go to school again yesterday; but I didn't do much, and I didn't see the point in writing about nothing. Well, I guess I did have a bit to write about, well, sort of, last night. Not really, because I couldn't figure out why I was so upset. Anyways, all I know is that it never got better, because I still feel like total emotional shit (and physical, but that's besides the point).
Oh, and on a completely random note: my NBC lighter is over-due starting today. They said it would take 8-12 days to come in the mail, and today is day 12, and still no sign of it. Damn bastard!
I went into homeroom (Ancient Civs) feeling like I was walking on egg shells. I didn't know if Mr.VanDusen would be extremely pissed at me for missing my presentation yesterday, or if he would understand. He talked to me half way through the class to see what was up, and I explained that I hadn't been feeling well (ie, sick - I'm not about to get into my emotional issues with my [i]teacher[/i]!). I also decided to be honest when he asked if I had done any work on it. I explained the whole "I had to do [i]six fucking projects[/i] within one week, and I couldn't get [i]everything[/i] done!" (just not in those words), and he actually understood! He told me I could reschedule my presentation for whenever I thought would be the least stressful week! (since all of the projects are prolonged throughout the next two months). I thought I was going to faint! *can finally breathe*.
I had to act as Malcolm for an one scene out of MacBeth for English class (would you believe that we [i]just [/i]started reading it??? ARG!!!). It wasn't so bad, since I only had one line - but that "one line" happened to be a paragraph long. Oh well, better than a thousand of those, right? Heh... Actually, it wasn't so much "acting" as it was "read what they say out loud in front of the class with a few other people while assigned to only one character each". ...Ya. It was the very first scene that Malcolm appears in, so they were talking about how he would become King once his father passes away, and Ms.Morris was like "Okay, so Malcolm - you're [i]really[/i] happy!" and I was just like "...Um..." *does a little dance in front of the class* and everyone burst out laughing and I just thought to myself "Dude... I'm not [i]that [/i]funny..." lol.
All the while I was still upset inside; I was just able to more or less hide it from everyone and [i]act[/i] happy as I tried to focus on other things. It wasn't until Parenting did I actually start showing how upset I was. Something about that class, I swear - it either brings me up, or tears me down. I started crying in that class, but I don't think anyone really noticed / cared enough. I made my way into the basement for lunch, and Steven handed me a kleenex from his locker and just said "It seems that whenever you're crying, I just happen to have a kleenex for you."
And, what happened next... I have no idea how to explain it. I walked off and sat a little ways away from everyone else, and just burst into tears. I was crying hysterically. Chris and Geoff noticed this and came over to me to keep me company. Gavin and Andrew came over shortly after and the four of them were trying to figure out something that would make me happy, or at least laugh. They really didn't need to, though - because sometimes you just need to cry... But you also just need a shoulder to cry on. They don't need to do anything special to make you feel better... Just knowing that they were there made me feel better and not so alone.
That's how I felt, though. Alone. I don't know why, because I [i]know [/i]that I'm not; but I [i]feel [/i]like I am. I'm missing something; there's a giant hole inside of me that I can't seem to fix. I know that if I had a reason to be happy, I would be; because I sometimes am even without a reason. But right now, as I see it, I have no reason to laugh, and no reason to keep going, so why should I? Every time I laugh, I know that I'll cry twice as much. It's very unballanced...
I just need a reason to be happy; and I'm not suggesting I need a boyfriend, because I'm not ready to move on yet. I just need something to fill this empty feeling. I need something to live for that will make it all worth-while. I need motivation to live, something to get me through the day, knowing that everything is going to be alright. People tell me it will be, but it doesn't help - I need proof that I'll be okay. I want to believe them, but so far I haven't seen anything looking up for me. They also tell me to just wait, but I'm running out of time. You can only wait for a miracle for so long before you give up.
I guess, to all of you who've asked "Sarah, what's wrong?", that's my answer. I didn't know how to explain it before, because I hadn't ordered out my thoughts well enough for even myself to understand it.
Continuing on with my day now... I had Drama directly after lunch. I haven't been there for the past few days (as you already know), and surprise, surprise, we were supposed to present our scene-studies today. Oh boy! I didn't even have my lines memorised! Whatever, I didn't even have to present today, so it didn't matter.
I signed out after Drama, because I had been coughing a lot all day, and I wasn't feeling emotionally stable enough to stick it through two more classes. My dad understood (the sick part, anyways, I didn't mention the other half). I had to wait 30 minutes for a fucking bus, though, because the 12:40 bus never came. Fucker. I've just been shitting around here at home for the past little while.
*sighs*
About Me:
Name: Sarah
DOB: Dec.01,'87 (16)
Location: Ottawa, ON
Likes: music, The Simpsons, That 70's Show, Stephen King, Tim Burton, horror movies, comedy, playing video / computer games, Monty Python, mexican food, iced tea, drawing, shopping, hanging out, swimming (alone), photography, acting, driving, and my friends and family ^^
Dislikes: assholes, whores, rap, musicals, when things break, liars, people who judge others before they get to know them, killing animals for food, working too hard... (thats all I can think of right now)
